A Lyme Disease Blog Sharing Support & Awareness

Wiping my slate clean

12/27/2012

I never realized how taxing the holidays could really be. I feel like even healthy people would have trouble having energy & not getting sick. So much to do, so little sleep!! Yesterday I had a family baby shower & a 2nd Christmas with some extended family. It was a lot of fun to celebrate my cousin and her soon to be baby boy. To think a new precious, innocent, healthy life will soon be brought into this world is amazing. We all come into this world so pure & full of opportunity. I was blessed to have a really joyful childhood & even until I went to college I was a healthy kid, so I have a lot to be thankful for in those aspects. But as my health is on a see-saw I realize this precious baby will come into the world with a new slate. What a feeling that would be to be able to say "I'm starting over, my palette is wiped clean."

The more I thought about this happy occasion we were celebrating it gave me hope. I realized that soon, when I do get better, I will go back out into this world with a fresh start. No negativity or resentment for the life that was lost, no anger toward people who abandoned me, and a new chance at life. I have evolved & changed so much already through this journey. I know exactly what I want from life, I discovered the person I am deep down, my priorities were made crystal clear & I discovered the people who loved me the most. When I am better I will be ready to conquer my world with a clean slate. The past will be the past. I will obviously never forget my life with Lyme, but it won't define me.

I think it's important to look at this moment in life as just that... A moment. Like a new baby being born into this world I will be a new me shedding the past & moving into the future. Brand new.

Xoxo,
Christina

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Merry Christmas!

12/26/2012

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Christmas has come & gone! And I hope everyone had an amazing and HEALTHY few days with family! I enjoyed Christmas a lot even though this year was really unusual for me in many ways. I'm a creature of habit & I rarely enjoy change, so it would make sense that celebrating Christmas at 8pm on Christmas Day versus the traditional Christmas Eve really threw me off. But with this cute little thing we call Lyme disease you basically have to be down with change. So change there was!

It was wacky & not ideal that I was sick the majority of Christmas Day, but I could pull it together long enough to get a good 4 hours of enjoyment. And after that my body checked out & I was in bed, feet elevated, heating pad on & back in my natural habitat!! But I am so thankful I had my whole family together & we could just enjoy the day. This year I certainly learned the true meaning of Christmas. It's not the glitz & glamour, it's a true celebration of the birth of Christ that you celebrate with loved ones.

During all of this I realized how crucial certain items are to help me not look like a zombie when essentially under the make-up I am 100% lifeless. Some beauty products I realized I basically can't live without when I need to look alive in a jiffy. Good stuff!

Anyways, I hope everyone continues to stay safe & healthy & we get through this stretch & into the new year!

Xoxo,
Christina

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The new normal for Christmas

12/23/2012

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With the holidays coming up the one thing I have had to be reminded of quite frequently is not to exhaust myself. I have to be prepared that this Christmas won't be like the others. I can't do everything & have energy for things the way I used to, but that's OKAY.

There is no shame in this. Taking it easy this year will allow me to enjoy next year to the fullest. I know there are a lot of people in the same boat. And it's hard when you have to make choices of what you can & can't do, but it's only temporary. It won't be your forever life. I think the fact that you are in general alive & well enough to enjoy the day is a blessing.

This year Christmas will be different in many ways. We will divide up the dinner & gifts because it would be too much in one day. I won't be eating the usual Hungarian Christmas sweets & foods. And the hardest for me is that we won't be able to attend the midnight Christmas church service. I haven't missed that in 10 years (if not longer). Our family celebrates Christmas as a true celebration of the birth of Christ. The church service means everything to me, and has been a tradition unlike any other.

This may be a tough pill to swallow overall but my motto has to be "don't over do it, take care of YOU." I tend to want to do everything & don't want to accept that I can't. I pay the price for it later on & that's when I vow to never do it again! I'm not healthy & I have to keep myself aware of that. The holidays are easy to slip into over-doing mode.

The people around you who know & love you will understand this & help you. They will be okay with doing things more slowly & differently. Anyone who says otherwise isn't worth it, so never push yourself to please someone like that, trust me :)

Enjoy the holidays, and make this your year where you slow down & take it all in versus rushing through it.

God bless

-Christina

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DONE with the first round of Lyme treatment!

12/15/2012

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Hallelujah! I feel so happy to say I finished my first round of Lyme treatment. This has been a long & testing 6 weeks for me, but I finally made it! Ill be celebrating with some gluten free sugar free brownies :)

Soon ill be starting the second round and after that I can hopefully better assess how things are coming along. But I'm just beyond the moon I could get through even this first round. It was lots of trying times, lots of moments I wanted to give up, and lots of days I thought this can't possibly be worth it. But that's just grumpy Christina talking. I dont believe my unrational thinking in those moments. I know it's already worth it!

Hope everyone has a blessed weekend :)

Xoxo,
Christina

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Until the smoke clears

12/11/2012

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With treatment it's like peeling away at an onion. At the core is you... Your healthy self. On top, however, is everything Lyme has created. It's the Lyme, the co-infections, the syndromes it's brought on (in my case POTS), it's the damage that leaves to be repaired, it's the toxic body you have, etc.

The only way to get better is to ever so slowly peel back the layers and address them as they come. I addressed the Bartonella but I know I may have to come back and treat it further so for now it's a half peeled slice. I am in treatment for Lyme now so that's a slice that is being peeled slowly. I have POTS & other endocrine related issues that we are watching. It may be that as the Lyme lessens so will the symptoms of these. Same with the brain damage. But these layers are currently untouched. Worrying about them or prodding at them will do me no good. Those layers are the "wait and see " layers. They may peel themselves if I'm a lucky girl.

But the most important there here is to be able to understand the concept of waiting for the smoke to clear. When you treat a complex illness like Lyme it has infiltrated your entire body. Every tissue, every inch of your body is Lyme. Treatment is not fast. Treatment is not easy. And even if you have improved you won't know until all the toxins and herxing has passed; or what I like to say "until the smoke clears."

Or lets say the Lyme has improved but your overly burdened body has other issues.. You will still feel bad until there is balance. It doesn't mean you will feel that way forever. And I frequently have to remind myself of this.

My onion is in the beginning stages of being peeled. But, in the rare moments that I feel good I am reminded that I'm still myself underneath it all. I'm there, even if the smoke is clouding my perception. And eventually my layers will all be old news, and no longer hiding my health beneath.

Xoxo,
Christina

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Wiping my slate clean

Merry Christmas!

The new normal for Christmas

DONE with the first round of Lyme treatment!

Until the smoke clears

Follow Lady Of Lyme (@ladyoflyme)

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Wiping my slate clean

Merry Christmas!

The new normal for Christmas

DONE with the first round of Lyme treatment!

Until the smoke clears

Follow Lady Of Lyme (@ladyoflyme)

Categories

﻿Archives﻿

Archives