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Until the smoke clears

12/11/2012

2 Comments

 
With treatment it's like peeling away at an onion. At the core is you... Your healthy self. On top, however, is everything Lyme has created. It's the Lyme, the co-infections, the syndromes it's brought on (in my case POTS), it's the damage that leaves to be repaired, it's the toxic body you have, etc.

The only way to get better is to ever so slowly peel back the layers and address them as they come. I addressed the Bartonella but I know I may have to come back and treat it further so for now it's a half peeled slice. I am in treatment for Lyme now so that's a slice that is being peeled slowly. I have POTS & other endocrine related issues that we are watching. It may be that as the Lyme lessens so will the symptoms of these. Same with the brain damage. But these layers are currently untouched. Worrying about them or prodding at them will do me no good. Those layers are the "wait and see " layers. They may peel themselves if I'm a lucky girl.

But the most important there here is to be able to understand the concept of waiting for the smoke to clear. When you treat a complex illness like Lyme it has infiltrated your entire body. Every tissue, every inch of your body is Lyme. Treatment is not fast. Treatment is not easy. And even if you have improved you won't know until all the toxins and herxing has passed; or what I like to say "until the smoke clears."

Or lets say the Lyme has improved but your overly burdened body has other issues.. You will still feel bad until there is balance. It doesn't mean you will feel that way forever. And I frequently have to remind myself of this.

My onion is in the beginning stages of being peeled. But, in the rare moments that I feel good I am reminded that I'm still myself underneath it all. I'm there, even if the smoke is clouding my perception. And eventually my layers will all be old news, and no longer hiding my health beneath.

Xoxo,
Christina

2 Comments
Autumn
12/13/2012 06:25:34 am

Everyday is a step forward on the road to recovery, even if it is a tough one! :)

Reply
Christina Kovacs
12/13/2012 04:07:39 pm

You're ahhh-mazing ... So true :)

Reply



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