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The Dizziness of Driving & A Few Poll Questions

5/26/2013

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It's been quite a week! Lots going on in every way possible. Treatment has it's tolerable days & it's not so tolerable days. Anytime I got a chance I've been out soaking up some sun, but that in turn resulted in much worst Herxes. So in a sense I kind of made things worse for myself but honestly you have to pick your battles sometimes. Between the sun, treatment, triggering my motion sensitivity & other things I have been kind of out of it this week, hence my lack of updating anything!

I ordered a huge batch of Lyme awareness bracelets that should be in soon & I would love to send some to anyone out there who wants to support Awareness. As I get those I will have them up on here in the shop. They will be free, but just to make it easier to get shipping addresses & have it organized I figured doing it that way would be the best. 

I'm also toying with the idea of T-shirts that would benefit a Lyme foundation. But I wanted to hold a poll about it to get some thoughts. There is a poll below to see if there is even any interest, so please take some time to check it out. I thought possibly some of you would want to input ideas and we can design it together, or maybe not. Just putting ideas out there. There is an "Other" category to put something else in there too. If so then later we could take a poll on which organization the profits would benefit etc. So yes, let me know :)
Until next time

Xoxo,
Christina
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Lyme Interview

5/18/2013

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Hey guys! I have lots and lots of info to talk about, it's been an incredibly hectic week. Treatment itself has kind of been kicking my butt, and the exhaustion from Mothers Day and the days after it have officially caught up with me!

I want thank my local news station WSAZ for covering my story about Lyme disease. Also, thank you to everyone who reached out to me afterwards. Whether you found my blog & contacted me, or just found this site and read about how I am doing. It genuinely means everything to me. Bringing awareness is obviously something I am so passionate about. I felt very fortunate to share my story and get the word out there in this way. To everyone I have met from this, I am thankful. Also, I apologize if I take a while to reply to emails. Between the brain fog & exhaustion, its hard to find moments where I can articulate things how I would like to. So, I promise I am never ignoring anyone! 

Below is the video from my interview: 

xoxo,
Christina
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Wonderful Mother's Day

5/13/2013

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To me, my mom is more than just a mom. She is my very best friend & my will when I don't think I have it in me. I don't just say she is amazing because that's the cliche thing to do, I say it because she really is. 365 days a year she bends over backwards to make my day better anyway she can. If she had to go to the moon & back for me she wouldn't question it. I can't possibly articulate the level of dedication she has, because it surpasses words. After working 15 hour days in her incredibly stressful job as a physician, she comes home to tirelessly give me a massage, fix me dinner, order my medicine, or do 100 other things to make me feel better. She stays up with me until midnight most nights & then still gets up at 5am for work & repeats it over and over never questioning it for a second. Or the days where she spends 6 hours straight in the kitchen to cook & bake an elaborate meal for me since all my food restrictions & allergies means everything down to the whip cream & BBQ sauce must be home made. I don't know I will ever be able to show her how much every ounce of it means to me. Nothing she does goes unnoticed, and I have said from the beginning that I couldn't be fighting this Lyme & pushing myself how I do if it wasn't for her unconditional love & perseverance.

I feel so grateful... That isn't even the right word. I feel honored & utterly blessed to have her as my mom. So for Mother's Day it was really important to me to make her day special. I prayed for nights on end that God could give me a good day to celebrate Mother's Day. I wanted to bake her favorite dessert for her which I knew required an lots of energy. I also knew I would have to get ready for dinner (a huge task in itself), and then have energy afterwards. I knew it was a far stretch considering I'm back on treatment... But I prayed.

And God listened. Granted I was super tired afterwards, but the fact that I did it was HUGE. My mom loved the Tiramusu! And, since my mom never ever stops thinking of others (even on Mother's Day), she made me chocolate covered strawberries & made potato salad I could eat & special turkey burgers. I'm telling you, no matter what day it is she always goes above & beyond to make others happy. Even if it meant cooking on Mother's Day (no rest for her).

Overall I'm just so happy my mom had a good day & that God granted me a nice day to enjoy myself. I know that taking care of me is a full time job. My parents didnt sign up for this mess, but they never questioned being my 24/7 help. And as I keep fighting, it's for them because I want to be better so I can move on with my life & hopefully make them proud. But for now, it's one thing at a time & I know that. I'm just grateful I had a good day. And that's what matters.
As I am chugging along with treatment these days are even more precious. I have got to remember the good memories even in times of turmoil.

Xoxo,
Christina
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Even when I was 4 my mom & I were best friends with matching outfits !
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Yummmmy! Lyme diet friendly chocolate covered strawberries. My mom made these & said they were Macy's gift to me (my dog who I consider my child)
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The tiramisu was a hit! Yay!
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Another reason my mom rocks... A card that "Macy" got me. 100% made my day!
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And lastly, I really do think my dog is my child. So Mother's Day went both ways for me this year... Daughter & a mother in one :)
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What Lyme disease & awareness means to me.. My journey

5/3/2013

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Why am I so passionate about Lyme disease awareness? Well, there's the obvious answer that I have Lyme, but there's also so much more to it.

Have you ever lost something you love? A job, your car, your significant other, etc? If you have you know how hard it is to have something you love be taken away, having no control of it. With Lyme I've lost things I have loved, except I've lost them not just once, but multiple times.

I had to quit my dream of getting a degree in what I love. But, I didn't just have to physically leave California (and the school) behind, I later had to all together quit even online classes because the Lyme had taken my brain power, my memory, and my ability to comprehend things properly.

I had to give up my independence. But, I didn't just give it up when I moved home for treatment, I gave it up years ago when the Lyme made me a hostage in my own body. It dictated what I could & couldn't do, it made me cancel plans, miss work, and rely on people around me to bring me food (or else I wouldn't have eaten). Oh I lost my independence long ago once, and I lost it again when I had to throw in the towel & get help from my parents.

I lost a lot of other things along the way. I've lost friends, my ability to drive properly, ability to eat 90% of the foods I love... The list could go on & on. Each loss was hard, and no easier the first or fifth time.

Most recently I suffered my greatest loss.. And that was seeing a glimpse of my life coming back, and then watching it get ripped away.

This past January I finally reached a point in my treatment where I felt like I was making strides. It was the first improvement I saw in all my symptoms, and I was overjoyed. I remembered what it felt like to spend even an hour out of bed and overall I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. We quickly made plans to begin to drive again, and begin aggressive PT for my muscular atrophy. I was ready to start working toward all the things I missed. I worked my butt off for this feeling, after months on end of grueling treatment this was a hard fought battle.

What I didn't know then is that a storm was coming that no one could stop. A storm that would take all my hard work & wipe it all clean. The storm would begin with getting C. difficile, an incredibly painful & stubborn intestinal infection. I had to immediately stop Lyme treatment cold turkey to take care of it. And right then what I didn't know was that would be the biggest downfall of my journey yet.

The c diff lingered... Boy did it take it's sweet time to go away. During those months I fought hard, and my immune system was put to the test. What I didn't know though, was that now was when the Lyme bacteria would make a strong comeback. With a weak immune system & no treatment to kill it, the conditions were perfect. And when it came back it knocked me off my feet tenfold.

The last few weeks have been its own kind of hell. I didn't know I could feel this sick again, I managed to forget just how hellacious it is when Lyme is invading your every cell & you are helpless to stop it. I watched this disease take away the life I was chasing yet again... Stolen from my grips. Here I am, starting over. Again.

Now I find myself hooked up to an IV machine, fighting again to start this process over. But I won't let this disease take my happiness this time, I won't let it win. You can take my health, but you can't take my zest for life, and my will to fight.

If I learned anything from this experience it's that you can't let Lyme disease get an inch of space. You can't back down ever until you are damn well certain that its gone. Before this I thought when I was 75% better I would move back to Louisville & finish up there while getting back to my busy life & it would be no big deal. This was a rude awakening that I can't do that. I must be 110% better before I even consider straining myself. I can't let this disease take away my hard work ever again, and I won't give up until I am in a full remission.

May is Lyme Disease Awareness month, and I am doing my part to promote awareness because I never want anyone to lose anything to this disease. Awareness & prevention are key. I wish I knew then what I knew now. I want to make people aware that ticks aren't just up north, they are everywhere. And not only that, but they all can carry a host of co-infections, not just Lyme disease. If I could catch it in my small town in Kentucky, then so can you.

Thank you for reading this incredibly long post & thank you to everyone who is constantly praying for my recovery.

Xoxo,
Christina
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