Keep Going.

I can't tell you how often I look around now and think to myself, "thank God I didn't give up, thank God I kept going." Many times it felt downright impossible. Many times I was past the point of exhaustion, and way past the point of countless disappointments. I couldn't take another letdown, another flare, another loss. The pain was too much, the trauma was overwhelming. In those moments the thought of a life lived without level 10 pain seemed as real as a fairytale. It's taken 8 long and arduous years for me to get to this point where I look back on the hell that I endured and feel a sense of gratitude that I survived. 

​All of this is to say if you're reading this right now and you are in the trenches of darkness, keep going. You might be in the middle of the longest and darkest tunnel without an end in sight. Keep going. You might feel like you've given years of your life to fighting and it can't possibly improve. Keep going. I spent the greater part of 8 years completely bed-bound, often too weak to wash my own hair or even chew food. I thought this disease would surely kill me by slowly sucking the life out of me year by year. I know how never-ending things can feel, and how very real that sensation of despair is. Trust me when I tell you that I wanted a way out many times, and only now am I eternally grateful I didn't get it. You will prevail, you will overcome. Don't let this darkness squash your hope or dim the light on your dreams. Keep taking each step, one by one, no matter how small.

Please hear me... there is a way through. Keep going. 

xoxo,
​Christina