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Wiping my slate clean

12/27/2012

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I never realized how taxing the holidays could really be. I feel like even healthy people would have trouble having energy & not getting sick. So much to do, so little sleep!! Yesterday I had a family baby shower & a 2nd Christmas with some extended family. It was a lot of fun to celebrate my cousin and her soon to be baby boy. To think a new precious, innocent, healthy life will soon be brought into this world is amazing. We all come into this world so pure & full of opportunity. I was blessed to have a really joyful childhood & even until I went to college I was a healthy kid, so I have a lot to be thankful for in those aspects. But as my health is on a see-saw I realize this precious baby will come into the world with a new slate. What a feeling that would be to be able to say "I'm starting over, my palette is wiped clean."

The more I thought about this happy occasion we were celebrating it gave me hope. I realized that soon, when I do get better, I will go back out into this world with a fresh start. No negativity or resentment for the life that was lost, no anger toward people who abandoned me, and a new chance at life. I have evolved & changed so much already through this journey. I know exactly what I want from life, I discovered the person I am deep down, my priorities were made crystal clear & I discovered the people who loved me the most. When I am better I will be ready to conquer my world with a clean slate. The past will be the past. I will obviously never forget my life with Lyme, but it won't define me.

I think it's important to look at this moment in life as just that... A moment. Like a new baby being born into this world I will be a new me shedding the past & moving into the future. Brand new.

Xoxo,
Christina
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