Just recently I contacted my doctor to get in touch with some of his cured Lyme patients who might speak to me of their experience. Considering this is completely an unknown venture I'm entering, I thought someone might share with me how they got their life back. To my shock & surprise none of the contacted patients would talk. I get that once you get cured of Lyme you want to live your life and not talk about it again (for some people). Never the less, it was a major let down.
This brings me to my point. I vow to talk about my good times, I vow to talk about my bad times, and most of all I vow to be an advocate for Lyme disease for the rest of my life. This journey is one that shapes you as a human being, and as much as people may want to forget those years ever happened, it simply isn't possible to erase it. My biggest hope is that once I'm better I can be a cheerleader to those who feel stuck or who feel scared to start treatment. I will always be able to relate to that feeling & I won't become "too good" to speak to anyone about it. I want to be an open book & an honest person on this blog mostly for the fact that I want everyone to be real with me. If its going to hurt, tell me. Don't sugar coat it, don't say 'maybe.' I want the truth & I will give the truth back.
My second point about learning things is that it's important for people to learn facts & truth about Lyme. Being uneducated about this disease is the top reason it's brushed under the rug in the medical field. That, in turn, leaves diagnosed patients with lots of questions & no way of finding answers. Their loved ones can't get answers either, so it becomes this unspoken subject matter. I'm going to address a new topic almost daily so for those of you curious, or if you are someone currently battling I hope as I learn that we can learn together.
My third & final point, & the thing I've learned about life is that you can't be scared of anything. As I prepare myself & my body for treatment I had to ask what I was truly afraid of. I'm a tough cookie when it comes to pain, so am I really scared of the treatment itself, or maybe it's the fear of what this experience will do to life in general. They say chronic disease shows you who really belongs in your life & who sticks by you. But do I really want to know? I'd like to think everyone who loves me will be in my life a year from now being completely supportive, but the reality is that rarely happens. More-so, no one wants to have honest conversation. It's almost like Lyme is a taboo subject that people dance around. When they ask "how do you feel?" they don't want the true answer, they want the quick answer. But if you are reading this & you can relate, I have a wonderful piece of advice I read today that gave me peace.
"We are never far from where we need to be. God would not have brought us to this place in life if He didn't have something for us to receive."
So in conclusion I've handed over my fears, whatever they may be, to God. Is it terrifying to know you might lose people you love? Yes. Is it terrifying to know your body will be fighting the toughest fight of your life? Yes. But you can not fear the future because if you are at this point in your life then God brought you here. The people who are still there when you go through hell & back are the people who will love you forever. And to learn such a valuable lesson at the age of 23 is something I'm extremely lucky for.