A Lyme Disease Blog Sharing Support & Awareness

Let's Talk About Autoimmune Disorders: The Innate vs Adaptive Immune System + How Lyme Disease Affects It All

1/2/2018

2017 was an interesting saga in this journey we call life. I'd say if I had to characterize it, it would be the year when I realized just how discombobulated my immune system truly was. Lyme disease has a reputation for messing with the immune system and subsequently creating autoimmune conditions in people. An autoimmune condition is characterized by the immune system inappropriately attacking healthy organs/tissues in the body which it misidentifies as an invader. A similar activity can also occur with foods and environmental allergens. An interesting tidbit about autoimmune conditions is that they tend to travel in packs. If a person has 1 autoimmune condition, it drastically raises the likelihood that they will develop others. The reason being that the misfiring immune system which might first attack the thyroid glands will then start to wreak havoc on another organ or its next target.

For those of you following this blog you know I spent many long months trying to understand what was happening to my body when I developed new unrelenting severe stomach pain. After ~5 months of tests I had my answer: Crohn's disease. The cause of Crohn's is not well understood, but the treatments are essentially all either: 1. Steroids (to suppress the immune system), 2. Biologics (which also inhibit the immune system), and 3. Other varieties of drugs which make the immune system non-existent. The damage and pain of Crohn's comes from high levels of inflammation due to immune system over reacting and attacking tissue in the mucus membranes. The trouble is, I can't take the commonly prescribed immune-suppressive medications because I also have Lyme disease. If I overly suppress my immune system I will allow the infections to flourish, and it would be a hot mess.

Without getting too much into it, the immune system has two tiers: the innate system & the adaptive system. With autoimmune conditions one part is over reacting & at the same time the other part can still be under reacting. So a person with let's say Psoriatic Arthritis can have an active autoimmune condition damaging their joints, but they can also easily catch every cold and virus going around. It's two pronged, and that's why this is so difficult. The common autoimmune medications suppress the entire immune system, opening the door to severe & sometimes fatal infections. Even the "healthiest" person who takes a biologic like Humira can get the flu and wind up in intensive care. It's not great. And since I have Lyme disease it would be a disaster if I suppressed my entire immune system. Because truthfully, I need a stronger immune system as far as Lyme goes & a less aggressive immune system as far as Crohn's goes. I know I know, how absurd!

After learning I had Crohn's we did further testing which confirmed that my immune system was pretty much off the rails in terms of body wide autoimmune cascades, and was now attacking almost all the food I put into my body. I had so many food intolerances & allergies that I hardly had but 5 safe foods I ate without excruciating pain. In between living on a liquid diet & curling up in a ball 24/7 from unrelenting pain, I felt pretty confused and very stressed out. We knew I had to reel in my immune system, but it had to be done delicately and in a way which balanced my immune system vs suppressed it. I was given a few options, did a lot of research & then made a leap of faith.

Around July I began immunotherapy, and boy has it been a rollercoaster ride. I have learned that once you poke the beast (the beast being the immune system), the reactions can and will be sudden & unexpected. I started out on too high of a dose & that initially set me back about 8 weeks, and my next try was again too high which was a second set back. I am slowly finding my footing with it now, and getting closer to the right dose. I will need about 6-12 months of consistent treatment (at the right level) to be able to feel the full effects. I don't want to talk too much about it yet, because it's still very new and too early to judge. But I did want to fill in those of you following along as to what is happening.

I have had some bright spots since I began this treatment, with bursts of time where some symptoms temporarily improved. Those moments were hopeful for me because it tells me that once the pendulum isn't swinging so violently up and down and I can get my immune system leveled, there is hope for feeling more human. Although there have been more flare ups of symptoms than there have been "good" days thus far, I know that this is how it all works. The immune system itself is so delicate and finding that perfect balance between the innate & adaptive sides is a balancing act all its own.

So, that's what has been going on in my neck of the woods. I hope to be able to provide a more in depth review of things as everything progresses. But until then, I wish you a happy and healthy New Year!

Cheers to 2018!

xoxo,
Christina

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It's St. Nicholas Day! Let's Celebrate!

12/5/2017

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In my family we celebrate St. Nicholas Day. Every December 5th the kids shine their shoes and put them on the windowpane, waiting for St. Nick to fill it with gifts if they were good girls and boys. When they wake up on December 6th they hope to find stocking stuffers waiting on them! To celebrate this holiday I'm offering 10% off the entire Christmas Awareness Shop!

Use code: MERRY17 at checkout to get 10% off your entire purchase! Code valid December 5th & 6th only.

If you have been eyeing the Christmas tees, sweaters, or mugs, now is the perfect time to shop! There are so many cozy items that I love, and the best part is that 100% of proceeds will benefit the LymeLight Foundation. With the funds raised they will be able to help provide much needed Lyme Disease treatment to children and young adults in need.

Visit The Shop!

I just want to take a moment to say thank you so much to everyone who has already purchased items. I feel incredibly blessed that I am able to get the treatment I need, because I know that is not always the case for everyone. It hurts my heart to think of children who don't have the means for it and are left suffering. Their childhoods are stolen from them, and while they should be laughing & playing they are instead in pain & sitting in hospitals. I think of how carefree my life was as a kid, and then I think of how unfair it is for those children who don't get that luxury. The work that LymeLight foundation does is so noble. They help families who can't afford treatment & allow children to get the care they need so they can have their lives back. I put my heart and soul into these designs, and although it might not look like it, it's all been months of work. But all that work is instantly worth it when I think of the good it will do. So I hope you love it, I hope you share it, and from the bottom of my heart, Thank You.

xoxo,
Christina

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Stop To Feel Your 'Thanks'

11/23/2017

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Every year around Thanksgiving we get bombarded with advertisements & home decor everywhere reminding us to "Give Thanks." And every year on Thanksgiving Day you might sit around your dinner table with your family and friends and say what you're thankful for. It almost becomes a bit monotonous year after year, and if you are anything like how I was, then as the years passed by it sort of lost its meaning. By the time I was 18 Thanksgiving was just a time to come home, reunite with old friends & eat a ton of food with my family. Sure, we would stop once to give thanks, but outside of that quick 5 minute window I didn't give much thought to it. By the time Black Friday came around it was on to the next thing and my mind became focused on all things Christmas.

'Giving thanks fatigue" is a very real thing in our fast paced world. In that quick moment when I stopped to think about it sure I was mildly thankful. But truth be told, by the next day it was out of sight out of mind. I did not carry it with me into the following days or months the way I wished I did. Life happens & we go back to our busy jobs and eat turkey leftovers while never giving a second thought to those 'thanks.'

When I was young our church took us to a local Soup Kitchen & Food Pantry around Thanksgiving to volunteer. We wrote cards to sick children in need, and visited lonely seniors in retirement homes. In those moments it really hit me just how lucky I was for my life. But even then, even after that, I wasn't ever actually thinking it was a possibility to lose it. We never think that. When you see people down on their luck or in heartbreaking situations you might stop to think, "wow, thank you God for my home, my access to food, a warm bed, etc." But we just expect that these things will always be there.

I don't think I truly grasped what I was thankful for until my health did a 180. I know I know, how utterly cliche. Trust me, I'm aware of that. But I'm the first to admit that I got a big serving of humble pie when my health began to fail me. It was the first time that it occurred to me that things in life weren't always guaranteed. My stable foundation became shook when Doctor after Doctor failed to help me. I grew up thinking I'd always be fine because I had access to healthcare & parents who can afford to take me to the Doctor. While I sympathized with people who were down on their luck I had assumed that could never be me.

When I landed back in my childhood home in my 20's lying in bed 24/7 watching the seasons pass, I felt incredibly down on my luck. I became the person in need of prayers, visitors, and kind words. But most importantly I realized then in that moment that it could happen to me. And boy oh boy did I wish then that I was more thankful during all the years prior when I felt better. I wished I had genuinely cherished what it felt like to be healthy, devoid of pain, eating my favorite foods and surrounded by the ones I love.

Since then Thanksgiving has taken on a different meaning. I stop every year to write a long list of everything I am thankful for (which I usually blog about). And when I write it I actually stop, close my eyes, and image what it feels like. For example, I'm so thankful for my loving pup. So I stop, I imagine how sweet it is when she nuzzles her cold furry nose into my neck, and I hold that feeling. I want to hold onto it longer than a fleeting moment so I really realize how lucky I am for her.

Whoever you are reading this right now, I want to urge you to do the same. Stop and actually feel your 'thanks,' as cheesy as that sounds. One day you might not have the things around you, and you don't want to walk around with regret that you didn't cherish it more. Thanksgiving is just a small nudge to remind us of that. The holiday might pass by in a whirlwind & it might just feel like a hectic crazy day you want to skip. But even if you do breeze through it or skip it all together, I hope that you keep the theme of it with you regardless.

No matter where you are at in life right now I promise you have something to be thankful for. Look down at whatever device you are reading this on, and soak in the fact that you have access to the internet, to information, and to electronics that people in some parts of the world have never heard of. And if you feel like nobody cares or you're alone, please email me. I care.

I'm thankful for all of you who read this blog and to everyone who encourages me. And I wish you a happy and thankful day!

xoxo,
Christina

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The Christmas Shop Is BACK! 100% Of Sales Are Benefiting The LymeLight Foundation!

11/21/2017

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And.... we're back! Last year was a great success thanks to everyone who bought a Lyme Disease Awareness Christmas tee, mug, or tote. I want to start by humbly saying thank you, because the proceeds from those purchases went directly to Lyme Alliance to help them fund research.

The good news is that the Christmas shop is now back and better than ever! This year I am working with the LymeLight Foundation, which is a 501(c)(3) charity that provides treatment grants to children and young adults in need. They help families who are struggling to afford treatment by covering the costs to help give children their lives back. They do absolutely incredible work, and I could not be more excited and thrilled to raise money for them this holiday season. 100% of the proceeds of every sale will go directly to the LymeLight Foundation.

Visit The Shop Here!

With this new partnership I also created a new design, so you now have two holiday tees to choose from! My new design is more feminine because that was one of the suggestions I got last year. I was asked to make a feminine fit and design similar to my original Lyme Awareness tees. So I took that feedback and went to work. I spent weeks changing up designs, tweaking it, ordering samples, and perfecting it. I wanted the design to be classy and wearable, and something that is easy to transition all holiday season long. It can be worn around the house or in bed with flannel pants, but it can just as easily be put on with jeans, boots & a comfy cardigan for an errand. You can even take it into a more dressy atmosphere by pairing it with black pants or a black skirt and a cardigan. It's versatile, and that was a big goal of mine.

Visit The Shop Here!

I encourage you to check out the shop and please share it with friends and family as well. Every single item sold will help a child in need, and will make a family's New Year a little bit brighter. Just as I did last year I will share a photo and proof from LymeLight Foundation that the donation was received.

Oh, just ONE LAST THING before you go..

In an effort to include others with different conditions other than Lyme Disease, I created a second shop which has the new design for other chronic illnesses as well. So if you have a family member or loved one who suffers from another chronic condition (POTS, Arthritis, Ehlers-Danlos, etc) they can join in on the fun as well! Check out the Chronic "Cheers To A Cure" Christmas Shop as well!

I am also again doing a giveaway for everyone who bought an item. If you bought anything at all from the shop simply fill in your name, your confirmation # and what size tee you'd like. I will draw a winner at random for a free Christmas tee! I have two special edition white "Lyme Free Christmas" tees that I am giving away to two readers of this blog who purchased an item.

xoxo,
Christina

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We Are All In The Gutter, But Some Of Us Are Looking At The Stars

11/17/2017

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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Where do I begin?

I love this quote for so many reasons. Perhaps it's the imagery of the stars and my love for the night sky which resonated. Perhaps it's that Oscar Wilde wrote it, who also wrote incredible works like The Picture of Dorian Gray. And maybe it's all of these things together, combined with the heavy truth of it's words.

Every single person on earth is going to experience times when they feel like they are at rock bottom. This phenomenon is not exclusive to any one group of people, and those who seem to "have it all" are not immune to it either. Maybe it seems naive, but prior to this journey it did not occur to me that life could be hard for people who seemed to have it all together. I would look at those kinds of people and feel like they had some sort of secret that I wasn't being let in on. Well, it turns out the big secret I didn't know is that just because someone displays a perfect put together image on the outside, it doesn't alway mean their life is perfect on the inside.

For so long I held the belief that grief paints itself the same hue on everyone, and that sickness always looks glaringly obvious with sullen skin, hollow eyes and a sadness that is palpable. But that simply isn't true.

It wasn't until my life got turned upside down from Lyme Disease when I realized that even through the toughest moments I still had the option to seek the stars and hold a positive outlook. I could choose to be joyful despite my circumstances, and I could be hopeful despite what certain tests did or didn't say. These outcomes didn't need to be carried with me in every aspect of my life and bring me down. I could compartmentalize and take the time to be sad, or overwhelmed, or stressed, and then leave those emotions there in that box while I took a break from the 24/7 worries of fighting this illness. I could have different facets of my life, and they didn't need to rub off on one and other. My stress or sadness shouldn't spread like a virus into other parts of my soul. I could be "happy Christina," while simultaneously being "worried about my recent test results Christina," and "fighting a stomach-ache Christina," and still change out of my pajamas to enjoy a holiday. It doesn't have to consume me, and it doesn't have to consume you either.

Maybe I don't "look sick," and maybe not everyone will understand me or my situation. That's ok. I used to worry that by putting my best foot forward I was making it harder for people to understand my pain. But in all honesty I bare my soul and my worries and grief on this blog for the whole world to see 24/7. However, the joy I choose to cling to doesn't negate that. I can be happy and look happy while fighting my challenges internally. It's a conscious and personal choice deciding how much of ourselves we want to show the world. That's why the person you look at on Instagram who seems to 'have it all' can still be carrying some heavy burdens. Their secret isn't that they are perfect, but rather that they are not. They are imperfect humans just like you or I, and the truth is that they are trying to get by like everyone else.

Once I realized that I can go out into the world and look around at all the of the most joyful happy people, and they could still be fighting hardships, it changed my outlook on life. Or perhaps rather it changed my perception of how I saw my own life. Because the only person who knows how happy or "perfect" someone else's life is, is that person. No one else on earth will ever know what's going on in their mind and in their soul. You can look at 3 happy people all displaying their great lives, and one might be suicidal, the other might be dealing with a loss, and the third might really just be joyful. How will you ever know which is which? Unless they tell you, you won't. Real actual joy comes from inside of you, and it doesn't depend on what you have or don't have. Only you know what is inside your soul, and that's the only thing that matters.

We can't choose the hardships life will throw us. No one can. But the one thing in life you DO choose is your outlook. You choose if you want to live and fight, you choose if you want to keep taking steps and climbing out of the hole when you hit rock bottom. We will all have hard days where we might want to give up because the stresses of life feel all consuming. I have those days. I have days where I'm grumpy, I'm a debbie-downer, and I'm not joyful. I'm human. I let myself feel how I need to feel for a while, and then I pick myself up and keep moving forward.

Because remember: We are ALL in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Be the someone who is looking at the stars.

xoxo,
Christina

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Chronic Illness Gift Guide 2017: Holiday Gift Ideas

11/16/2017

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It's hard to believe that Christmas is already just around the corner again. I know I say this every year, but it always sneaks up on me just the same! I did a Holiday Gift Guide 2 years ago, but I thought it was time to do an updated version. I have so many new items I love which I think your friends/family will love too! It can be difficult to think of unique or useful items for those with a chronic illness, but have no fear I've got a bunch of fun ideas to share! I put a lot of thought, time and research into this list, so I hope that you all love it as much as I do.

The items on this list will range in price, and all of the items are things I own, have personally used, and bought with my own money. None of these items were sent to me for free, etc. So, let's just jump into it!

Phone Soap 3.0 ($54): Having a Chronic Illness also often comes with a lowered immune system. And getting sick or catching a virus is also much more dangerous for those individuals. Did you know that the average cellphone has almost 18x more bacteria on it than a public bathroom?? We wash our hands, but we don't think about how our phone is everywhere collecting germs. So even if we clean our hands, our phones are still a breeding ground for all kinds of bacteria which can make us really sick! This is where Phone Soap is genius because it's a convenient little box that you simply put you phone into, and using UV lights it disinfects your phone within 5 minutes. PhoneSoap 2.0 is scientifically proven & tested by independent third party laboratories to kill 99.9% of germs such as staph, e. coli and salmonella. It also has a universal phone charger port for charging iPhone's, Androids, etc. It's large enough to fit any sized phone! I have one in my room and one in my living room, and our whole family uses it daily. If there is ONE gift I urge you to get above all the rest, it's this one.

Essential Oil Diffuser ($29): I adore essential oils, and there is always a diffuser running in my home from morning to night (with varying oil combos). Most people with chronic illnesses are sensitive to chemicals and perfumed scents, but the great news is the pure essential oils (such as Young Living), smell incredible and don't trigger MCS. Even the most sensitive individual like myself has no issues with EO's, and I use them each and every day. A nice diffuser makes a beautiful gift for enjoying aromatherapy. For example diffusing lavender can help to calm and relax, while diffusing something like the Thieves blend can keep germs from spreading. There are many different diffusers on the market today, but I love the Ultrasonic variety because they are very quiet and give out an ultra fine and smooth mist. As a bonus it works as a humidifier for very dry air (common in wintertime). What I love about this particular model is that it holds 300ml of water, which means it can run for 10 hours straight. A lot of diffusers hold less and have to be refilled every 4-6 hours, which is a drag. This model can be filled up in the morning and get you through the whole day. It comes in 3 varieties of wood grain and has a band of light which can be turned on or off, and can be switched to 7 different colors. It's a beautiful sturdy machine, and makes a wonderful soothing gift.

EMF Blocking Jewelry: EMF's are electromagnetic fields, which are emitted from all electrical devices. Often times, those with a chronic illness are extremely sensitive to these, and it tends to make them feel much worse off. I know personally that once I lowered the amount of EMF's that got to my body I felt a genuine change. In the world we live in it's nearly impossible to stop all EMF's unless you unplug everything in your house, so these wearable jewelry pieces are amazing and convenient. I have the REN pendant which is stylish and can easily be worn anywhere. They work by blocking EMF's in a radius around itself, therefore keeping you protected at all times. These can be kind of pricey but worth every penny, and is often a gift that those with a chronic illness wouldn't splurge on for themselves.

Amazon Fire HD Tablet ($39-$59): Let's face it, iPads are extremely useful but also very expensive. It's not easy for anyone to splurge $400+ on one. However, having a small easy convenient tablet to use in bed comes very much in handy for those who spend more of their time in bed/resting. The Fire Tablet is the perfect size, has absolutely everything you need, and is actually more durable than the iPad which can make this a great gift for younger kiddos too. The newest Fire 8 is priced at $59 and has an HD screen, where the Fire 7 is priced at $39 and the only thing its missing is the HD screen. They both allow the user to enjoy millions of movies, TV shows, songs, eBooks, apps and games - including Netflix, Facebook, HBO, Spotify, and more. They both come with Alexa for quick access to the information and entertainment you want. Ask questions, play music, check your calendar, get the news, weather, and more - just press the home button and ask Alexa. The convenience of this can not be understated! They both have a 2 MP rear-facing camera for taking photos or recording 720p HD video. The front-facing VGA camera is perfect for Skype calls with friends and family. It offers convenience and endless entertainment.. what more could you want?! This makes for a stunning gift that looks much pricier than it really is. When someone is hurting or sick, a distraction is often the very best gift of all.

Cambridge Mask & Vogmask ($30-$35): Both of these masks have the same design and the same purpose in mind, which is to filter airborne particles. When you have a compromised immune system, the winter time can be especially terrifying because of all the viruses and bacteria being passed around. The purpose of these masks are to keep the wearer protected and safe from dust, pollen and contaminants by filtering the air through it's carbon filter. The Vogmask is very popular (one of my best friends loves hers), and while I haven't tried that yet, I do own a Cambridge Mask. I chose the Cambridge Mask because it has lab tested military grade filtration technology which filters almost 100% (99.6%) of pollution, gases, and bacteria and viruses. It guarantees protection against gases, smells, all PM; PM2.5, PM0.3, pollen, smoke and pathogens such as viruses and bacteria. However, Vogmask confirmed that it does not eliminate the risk of infections or filter out pathogens, does not filter out smells. and it's only purpose is to filter dust and allergens such as pollen or smoke. In my case, I wanted a mask that did it ALL. The Cambridge Mask has been incredible for me, and I feel safe wearing it knowing that if my nurse coughs or sneezes then I am protected. I also love that it helps to filter strong odor (great for MCS), and dust/allergens (great for MCAS). This makes a great gift because it's practical and yet something which many with a chronic illness can't budget for. It comes in a range of sizes for kids up to adults, and both have a 30 day money back guarantee.

Caffeine-Free Coffee & Mug ($10-$30): If you know someone who has had to give up caffeine and coffee then this will make them SO happy. I was a fellow coffee addict, and it was terrible for my heart and body to drink it. I eventually had to give it up and I missed it dearly at first. Then I found Teeccino (a caffeine free coffee alternative), and everything changed. I am not lying when I say it tastes identical to coffee in my latte's and it's perfect. It brews exactly like coffee in any coffee maker or French press. They have many flavors and varieties, including their regular blend and their gluten-free collection. I suggest gifting the Gluten-Free Variety Pack to friends who are restricting gluten, and the Classic Variety Pack for those who are not (you can also buy singles of classic and gluten-free). Pair it with a cute holiday reindeer mug, a chic Lenox mug and you are all set. It's a cozy gift and one which can really make someone's day who has been missing coffee so much, or someone who is trying to cut down on their coffee intake.

Cozyphones ($17-$19): Having a chronic illness likely means spending quite a bit of time in lying down or resting. I often keep myself company/distracted by listening to audiobooks, music, news, meditation or YouTube videos. I also hate how regular earphones feel in my ears. The small ones hurt my ears and the larger headphones are bulky and uncomfortable, especially in bed. Cozyphones are the best because they are soft fleece headbands which have the headphones built in. They just gently lie on your ears (protected by the fleece), and it feels like an absolute dream. They are great for anytime, whether it's in bed resting, going to sleep, going for a walk, or anything in between. They can also be worn pulled down as an eye mask which is pretty nifty. This is cute gift which people often don't think of buying for themselves, but would love to receive. They come in adult sizes and also children's sizes and styles (which are SO cute)! And if you are looking for an add on gift to this I recommend an Audible gift membership, so they can instantly buy and listen to any audiobook they desire.

Beautyrest Heated Wrap ($22-54): Heating pads are one thing, and heated blankets are another. But right in the middle you have a Heated Wrap, which is essentially likes a poncho or large wrap (with pockets) that is heated. It feels like a giant warm hug. I got one of these for my mom last Christmas and she absolutely loves it. It's great if you tend to be chilly, but equally great if you have body wide pain because it's large. It's a lightweight soft fleece so it's not heavy or bogged down. The cord it comes with it quite long so you don't have to be right by an outlet to use it. There are less expensive options on the market, but this one works great and is bigger than the competitors which is why I love it. Heat is always a win/win situation.

Meal Delivery Service ($30-$70): This gift list addition was a suggestion from a friend, and as soon as I heard it I went "well duh, why didn't I think of that?!" My family has been using HomeChef almost every week for at least 2 years now. It's great because there are a ton of options and they all contain a protein (meat or vegetarian options), and a veggie dish. Some items have gluten and dairy but they can easily be subbed. It's fresh, delicious, dependable. For someone who has a Chronic Illness, the ease of having an entire dinner sent to your doorstep can be a life saver. These meal delivery kits ship all fresh ingredients and take under 30 minutes to make. Since we use HomeChef I have a referral link which you can find here, and you will get $30 off your first delivery which covers 4 servings of meals. However, I am also going to link other options below. I have not used these, so I can't personally vouche for them.
Hello Fresh - Blue Apron - Green Chef - Plated - Freshly - Peach Dish - Premade Paleo - Purple Carrot -

Compression Stockings ($8-$20): Back in the day when I was diagnosed with POTS and prescribed compression socks there were 0 cute options on the market. But now compression socks have gone mainstream and that means a much larger range of sizes, colors, and designs. Compression socks are used to help with circulation, and since I am terrible at explaining how it works, I'm going to paraphrase from Berkeley Wellness: "Blood in your veins has to work against gravity to flow back to the heart. Anything that impedes that flow—such as circulation problems, lack of movement (especially in a chronic illness) or a health condition (POTS) results in blood pooling in the veins of the lower legs or feet, leading to leg swelling, tachycardia, and fainting. By squeezing the leg tissues and walls of the veins, compression stockings can help blood in the veins return to the heart." In short, they make life a whole lot easier for many people with chronic illnesses, and since they're now so stylish it's a win/win.
These are extra cute with tons of designs to pick from - These are colorful and come in a 7 pack - These are the most affordable single pair of the bunch. There are tons to pick from depending on the recipient!

Gifts Under $25

Below is a quick visual gallery of some cozy "stocking-stuffers" that are inexpensive and useful. They are an assortment of cozy items which are perfect for gifting, and all under $25! I chose items which people wouldn't usually think to buy for themselves, including items like a mini pre-lit Christmas tree that is perfect for a bedroom to cheer up someone who is bed-bound. Click on the item in the photo to go directly to it.

Gifts From The Community

I asked you all, my readers, to contact me if you own a business or sell any items that you hand make. This is the part of the gift guide where I will highlight those shops/items. I haven't personally bought all these items (unless noted). If you'd like to be included or featured here, please send me an email.

Monsoon Design Studios ($20-$30): Braedon hand makes the most cutest beaded bracelets. The shop has a wide varieties of colors and styles, and features some which say 'Lyme' and 'Warrior' that can be worn as awareness bracelets. You can contact the shop owner for questions as she custom makes each piece. I ordered one of these bracelets myself, and I got the one which says 'Lyme.' The Etsy shop also features options for custom names, which would make a great gift for anyone.

VanBreeman Family ($20-25): Jennifer VanBreeman and her family created these items to raise money for their daughter's Lyme treatment. They don't have an active site up for selling the items just yet, but they take custom orders via email (vanbreemenmom@gmail.com) so please contact there! T-shirts, Hats, Shoes $20 + shipping. Leggings $25 + shipping.

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Seeing The Past Through "Rose Colored Glasses."

10/11/2017

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"You're looking at the past through Rose Colored Glasses."

I'm sure we've all heard that phrase used before to describe the phenomenon of seeing the past as better than the present. It's an interesting paradox, and I remember being fascinated with it when I studied it in class. The term was coined when studies found that people looked back with fondness on the "good old days of past," often describing it as simpler happier times. However, the past the participants looked back on fondly included wars, famines & other awful things which their brain simply omitted. Even now, we can get nostalgic for our childhoods or for older times when life just seemed better. The 'Rose Colored Glasses' paint the past as a place we long to go back to, because of its' superiority to the present. But when one removes those glasses they often face the cold hard truth that the past is rarely better. There are many theories for why this phenomenon exists: Perhaps it's a coping mechanism the brain uses to get through present hardships. Perhaps it's denial. We may never know for sure.

Having a Psychology degree made me very self aware of the ways our mind can play tricks on us. However, I still fell for the trap of 'Rose Colored Glasses.' For a very long time after I got sick (and began treatment 24/7), I longed to get my old life back. My life "pre diagnoses" looked perfect to me. I wanted to turn back time and go right back to my old city, be with my old friends, do all my old things. To me it looked like the ideal time, and truthfully that is absolutely absurd because my life pre-diagnosis was hell. I was barely managing symptoms, skipping days of work due to pain, had very high stress, and absolutely no activity was enjoyable. Why on earth would I want that back??

Well my friends, that's how strong the pull of those 'Rose Colored Glasses' were. My life changed quickly and drastically after I learned I had Lyme Disease. Suddenly, instead of going to work and grabbing dinner with friends it consisted of me lying in bed day after day, watching the months pass by as I suffered through endless treatments...and it felt like a nightmare. In that moment I would have done anything to trade it for the years before, because at least then I had a social life and a semblance of independence. So I clung to that, and I wished so badly that I could go back to it. Every single day in my mind I was mentally living in the past, and you absolutely could not have convinced me that my old life was anything but perfect.

At some point as the years went by, things changed. The glasses came off and I finally saw my past for what it was. Truthfully, it was not a particularly fun pill to swallow. My denial kept me safe, and removing the 'Rose Colored Glasses' made me face many hard truths. But facing those hard truths allowed me to realize that I want WAY better for myself than my past. It allowed me to get unstuck & see that I would rather fight through these hard battles in the present for the promise of a BETTER future.

I do not want to be merely surviving, I want to be thriving. I do not want a life full of stress and chaos, I want a life of peace and certainty. I do not want fickle friendships, I want to fortify my relationships with those who really support and love me. I do not want to be constantly reminded of pain, I want to create new memories with joy.

I used to want to go back to my old city and plop back into my old life. Now, I honestly would be content if never set foot back in that place. All I would see everywhere I looked are bad memories, pain & sadness. I had a very rough time pre-diagnosis and I can't think of one location or event that doesn't have a painful memory tied to it in some way. "Oh look, there's the restaurant where I got into an argument with a friend for leaving early and being flaky when a migraine hit." "Oh look, there's the stadium where I had to hide in the port a potty for 30 minutes while my anxiety attack passed." "Oh look, there's the Kroger I doubled over in pain in." It's remarkable what you can see when you don't pretend the past is a safe haven. In a way it's sad, because all my wonderful memories over the 5+ years I lived there are overshadowed. Even the happiest memories have fine print attached to them, pointing out another instance when something not so great happened. It might sound so strange to some of you reading this, but if you've ever been through something traumatic you will likely understand. The brain will shield you from that trauma, often near erasing it from your memory if you let it. But as soon as you unmask what's behind the curtain and take a good hard look, the pain can feel crushing.

All I do know is that I want and need my future to be devoid of that. I want a fresh start & a happier more balanced life. And I want that for myself in the NOW. I refuse to wait for some future date to be happy or wait around to create my joy. This is why I relish any good day or any achievement I have now. Because I want to tie all my happy memories together and let them be stand alone moments which stick in my brain. I don't want to look around my childhood home and only see pain. I want to see milestones, accomplishments & wins. I want to see friends who've came to visit & stuck by my side reminding me that I'm loved. I want to see the goodness from my God who continues to give me hope. So that even when I look back on this past without Rose Colored Glasses, I will see it's truth, but I will also see it's joy.

Xoxo,
Christina

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2017 WeGo Health Awards: Best In Show - Blog

8/17/2017

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I am excited to announce that I have been nominated for the WEGO Health "Best In Show: Blog"
in the 6th Annual WEGO Health Awards!

WEGO Health is a mission-driven company connecting healthcare with the experience, skills,
and insights of patient leaders. They are the world’s largest network of patient leaders,
working across virtually all health conditions and topics. Click here to learn more about their Patient Network.

The WEGO Health Awards were created to celebrate those who tirelessly support the mission
of WEGO Health: to empower the patient voice. With 16 award categories, the WEGO Health
Awards are the only awards across all conditions and platforms, that recognize the over 100
thousand inspiring Patient Leaders who raise awareness, share information, and support their
communities, but often without recognition.

For me personally, it means everything to be nominated. I love to advocate, I love to share my life with this community, and I love to help others in any small way. THANK YOU truly for those who nominated me this year, it is genuinely an honor.

I’m now looking to my incredibly supportive network to help endorse me for this award. There
are two easy ways to endorse that only take seconds of your time!
1) You can click on my endorsement badge below:

2) Click HERE to be taken to my WEGO Health Awards profile where you can click “Endorse”
under my nominee photo

If I have ever supported you, made you laugh, or inspired you to keep fighting, please consider endorsing me for this award.

Xoxo,
Christina

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Unraveling A Mystery: Health Update + Talking About Cyrex Labs Testing

8/15/2017

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They say time flies when you're having fun, but I'd like to amend that saying to be: "Time flies when you're busy solving a mystery!" Ha! But in all seriousness, I had a pretty busy time period where I continued with more testing after learning I had Crohn's. We sought to uncover exactly what was going on in my body, and that called for what felt like an endless stream of blood tests & other send off tests. I was anxiously waiting on all the results and the ability to put more pieces of the puzzle together. This was probably the "slowest" time of them all...the waiting game. I will say that this was NOT a cheap endeavor, and one that costs thousands of dollars out of pocket. Sadly, no amount of private insurance covers these kinds of specialized tests, and it's one of the big reasons why I keep advocating for change. Healing from Lyme Disease (and the conditions they create) should not force someone to clean out their savings in order to survive. But, that topic is for another day! I just wanted to mention this because although I speak about these pricey tests on my blog I understand not everyone can afford them. This isn't ever an endorsement, but rather a sharing of my experience for those who like to read about it.

There were a lot of labs used, and a lot of tests ran. But for the sake of this blog post I am just going to talk about what I had looked at with Cyrex labs, because I think this will be the most interesting for those following along. Cyrex laboratories offers some of the most fascinating test panels. I would say that they are a leader in immune function/autoimmune testing across all parts of the body, and can help provide answers and insight to people struggling with any variety of chronic illnesses. One of the first tests I had ran was the "Array 10-90: Multiple Food Immune Reactivity" panel. This is food immunology testing using a combination of both IGG and IGA. What sets Cyrex apart from the other companies offering food allergy testing are a lot of big components. Most people know by now (or you can do a quick google search) that a lot of companies have capitalized on people with food senstivities by offering pricey testing panels of $800+ which are completely bogus. These so called companies advertise in places like Instagram where they tell people that they will lose "bloat, brain fog & feel more energized" if they remove a few foods they may be sensitive to. The problem with these claims is that they have been debunked many times over. Doctors have taken blood from the same patient but sent it off with two separate names, and got back two opposite results. The results from these companies are completely unreliable and a huge waste of money. This is where Cyrex prevails. For one, they are a legitimate laboratory who have endless case studies in medical journals, but secondly they run the same test TWICE on each blood sample. If the test does not identically match up on both runs they do not send out the results. This made me feel completely at ease, because I knew I could actually trust this lab. The physicians who have used Cyrex have had correlation between results and patient improvement. So, that is a huge distinction. Another cool thing Cyrex does is that they test the foods in the forms you eat them. For example they will test cooked potato, not just 'potato' like most companies, since we eat potatoes cooked and that changes the molecular makeup of the food. They also checked eggs cooked, and things like broccoli both cooked and also raw. It makes the test way more accurate, because those changes make a big difference.

So, back to the Array 10-90 test. It looks at about 200 foods, including herbs, spices and gums. This is a combo tests which also has a panel that looks at "foods over-consumed on a gluten free diet." This includes grains like rice, amaranth, buckwheat, quinoa, etc. When I got my results back imagine my shock when I saw that about 95% (yes, NINETY FIVE percent) of the tested foods were reactive. Aka, when my body was exposed to these foods the white blood cells came to attack, histamine was released, mast cells started to degranulate, and there was a full fledged freak out. The paper I got back basically said (in layman's terms) that 95% of all the foods will cause my body inflammation and pain if I try to eat them. The trouble is, there was hardly anything on that list which was deemed "safe," so in a nutshell every time I ate anything I created an inflammatory response throughout my body. My body, for whatever reason, created antibodies against these foods essentially deeming them an intruder. My body has mislabeled something as innocent as a carrot and accidentally targeted it as an invader.

As you can imagine, this was not a normal response. We knew something was definitely amiss from just that one result, and that prompted further testing. Most of the time when a person has a lot of food intolerances they say it's caused by Leaky Gut or SIBO. Cyrex has a Leaky Gut panel, which they call the "Array 2: Intestinal Antigenic Permeability Screen," and I had that ran. It looks for IGG/IGA/IGM antibodies to 3 separate proteins. These proteins will be present in the blood if parasite, virus or yeast's from the stomach make it's way into the blood when the permeability of the gut is impaired. It looks at the Actomysen Protein (Parasites), Occludin/Zonulin Protein (viruses), and Lipopolysaccharides (yeast). A video talking more in depth about this test can be found here. It's a really cutting edge test, and highly accurate if a patient has Leaky Gut of any kind. For me that test came back completely negative, which means I am not dealing with a Leaky Gut situation anymore. I kind of suspected this, because I have seriously been so on top of it with healing my stomach throughout the last 4-5 years, so I was pleased to learn that my hard work payed off at least in that regard. The next test I had ran was looking to see if I was dealing with SIBO. This was their "Array 22: Irritable Bowel/SIBO screen." This looks for Bacterial-Toxin induced damage to the gut. If you have SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) from either yeast or bacteria then the toxins from it will cause damage to the gut. This blood tests looks for those markers by looking for IGG/IGM/IGA antibodies to Cytoskeletal Proteins & Bacterial Cytotoxins. This test is brand new, and was only unveiled in March of 2017. It has been undergoing rigorous testing and studies in medical journals before it was brought to the public, so I feel really lucky to have been able to have this test ran. Even luckier for me, this test also came back negative on all accounts for having SIBO. Thankfully, that was also not my underlying cause.

So now the puzzles pieces to this mystery were slowly but surely falling into place more as each piece so of evidence began flowing in. I had a few others test panels ran, and when those were added into the mix it became obvious to myself and my Doctors that I had a serious autoimmune issue going on. For whatever reason my autoimmune system is on overdrive, and it is attacking all different parts of my body (as well as foods I put into it) improperly. It doesn't even take the time to distinguish the good from the bad, it is just in attack mode 24/7. This is likely what has been fueling my Crohn's as well, because it's impossible for my gut lining to heal if my own body is continually attacking it when it should not. This has posed an interesting task of figuring out how to calm down my overacting immune system so that it stops going after everything it sees.

Since getting my test results back we've been working on a game plan to tackle this issue, and I have been refining my diet big time. Since I obviously can not stop eating 95% of all food it has taken a complete overhaul to find my biggest triggers so I can avoid them. And truth be told, my triggers can change on a dime. Some days I may be okay with a food, and others days I absolutely can not tolerate it at all. Every single thing has to be made from scratch at home, and when I say everything I mean every last thing. Homemade vegetarian "soy less" soy sauce, homemade vegetable broth, homemade vegan mayo. All the small condiments you have on hand to cook with have all had to be tailored to work for my highly sensitive body. I hope and pray that with time I can reach a place where my body isn't cycling through and reacting to such extremes as it currently is now. Right now it is all a work in progress, and I will dedicate a later blog post discussing what I did/tried etc. Truth be told, I still very much have my bad days/flares where I curl up in a ball from pain, go on a liquid diet, and can't move from my bed for a week. Other times I have less pain & a better ability to eat solid food. It varies a great deal, especially as I experiment with treatment. Managing these Crohn's issues which came on top of my other neurological Lyme issues has been a real lesson in patience, but one which I am slowly understanding better each day. It's a juggling act, but I always say "if there's a will, there's a way." And boy do I have a will! I'm still finding my balance, but I'll get there.

For now that is all for this update! There has been a lot going on, and I have quite literally just been taking it one step at a time. One moment at a time. And trusting that God sees the bigger picture for me. I really try to focus my energy on enjoying each good day, or each good moment. No matter how "small" it may seem, I want to relish in the little joys of each day. Sometimes it can be hard (especially lately), but I have hope.

xoxo,
Christina

PS - This year I was nominated for the WeGo Health Awards for "Best in Show: Blog." If you enjoy this blog and want to help endorse me, please click the graphic below and that will help me a lot! Endorsements are open until September 1, 2017. Thank you so so much for those who nominated me this year!

I'm not sponsored by Cyrex, nor being paid by Cyrex for my opinions. All opinions are my own, and I paid out of pocket for all tests discussed. If you have any questions please feel free to ask in the comments below!

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A Story Of My Life: Meet Macy

8/2/2017

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If the story of your life were a movie, what are the moments you can look back on and say, "that was the exact minute my life changed forever?" We all have them. They are moments which feel insignificant at the time, but later create such a giant ripple in our lives that it is forever changed. Today, I'd like to share one of my moments with you.

Disclaimer: if you have a furry friend, grab a tissue. Or two. Or a box.

I remember the day so vividly. It's interesting how lasting memories can replay like a movie in your mind, so full of detail that you can almost feel it. I remember what I wore, I remember the smells, I remember the music in my car, and most of all I remember how I felt.

It was September of 2007 and my sophomore year of college had just begun. I had gone with my cousin to go "look" at a puppy which we were considering adopting. I use quotation marks because anyone who is an animal lover knows that "looking" almost always equals "taking home." I naively thought I could accomplish this task, and arrived to meet the puppies with 0 supplies and 0 plans. When I walked into the room where the puppies were I immediately realized I was in way over my head. The pups were about 6 weeks old, very shy and cowering to their mom. I climbed into the caged area, sat down, and one brave soldier left the pack to waddle over to me. She climbed on my legs, plopped down, looked up at me with her big brown eyes, and my heart exploded. This moment is my life changing moment. In this exact second I knew I would not be leaving without her. Sure enough she came home with us that night, was bestowed the name 'Macy,' and proceeded to steal my heart.

Macy: 6 weeks old

We stumbled through the puppy years together one chewed shoe and false alarm vet visit at a time. One time Macy chewed the leather shoelace off my Sperry shoes (unbeknownst to me), and when it came out the other end it looked exactly like a worm. With panic and fear we took the stool sample and Macy to the nearest vet only to have the tech tell us through laughter that it was a shoelace. It was too funny to even be embarrassing. I was an alarmist pet parent, and if you're wondering, nothing has changed. 10 years later I'm still worrying about her every move.

I felt completely out of my element during her first year of puppyhood. I didn't know if I would be cut out to be a dog mom. I felt inadequate in every way, navigating full time college, a part time job, and of course, my slowly failing health. See, back then I didn't know what was ahead of me. All I knew was that my stomach was rebelling against me, my fatigue made me miss classes, and my desperation to hide it from the people around me felt isolating. But no matter how much I tried to hide my pain to the outside world, Macy always knew. She would nuzzle her tiny warm body on my chest and let me know that it would be OK. In those quiet lonely moments I had her companionship, and suddenly I felt so much less alone.

Two days in college when I couldn't get out of bed. She was always there.

As the years passed her steadfast loyalty was with me through every single life change. I moved quite a few times throughout college, and with each new apartment she instantly made it feel like home. My senior year was my hardest year. I was on my 4th year of college, and my 3rd year of searching for answers to my ailing health. My symptoms were becoming so unmanageable that almost nightly I would call my mom at 2am sobbing on my bathroom floor. My world was crumbling around me, and no one could tell me why. I felt hopeless and I felt terrified. Graduation day came, and it should have been the happiest day of my life. However I almost missed it due to extreme air hunger, fatigue, and other baffling symptoms. You have to understand that as a former healthy person with NO diagnosis and NO doctor explanations it was all foreign to me. All these absurd symptoms like air hunger didn't yet have a name. I just felt like I couldn't get air, like I couldn't breathe properly, and I was gasping for oxygen. Utter terror. Petting Macy was my form of therapy. It was a way to quiet my anxiety, and feel a semblance of peace. If you have ever known the love of a dog, you will understand. Their love is so pure. It's so selfless, so giving, and it physically gave life back into my dwindling body. Looking back now I know without a shadow of a doubt that I could not have made it through college without Macy. She was my lifeblood, and my source of strength. In my darkest moments, she was there. On my most isolated days, she shared the quietness and gave me peace.

After I graduated college, I made the decision to continue my education and make the move across the country to Los Angeles. I had to leave Macy behind, and honestly, that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Walking away from her furry face that day is forever burned into my memory. My heart shattered, and for the first time I was truly alone. During this semester of school my health deteriorated quickly. Much more quickly than it ever had before. I was frantically seeing top doctors at world renowned clinics like the House Ear Institute, and seeing top Neurologists and Cardiologists all across Los Angeles. My weight plummeted to 89 pounds, I was deeply exhausted, and I was a shell of myself. During Thanksgiving my mom, grandmother and cousin surprised me by showing up for the holiday (my dad was already with me), and they brought Macy! Instantly my soul became filled with immeasurable joy. I knew how much I needed her, and during that time in my life I was especially struggling without her comfort by my side. After the holiday I had to move my life back to Kentucky, because my health just got that bad. I switched to online education, packed my bags, and my full time job became traveling to Doctors & having endless tests ran. Through this all, Macy was by my side.

Left: My mom had this painting made of Macy when I moved to California without her. Right: When she came to visit for Thanksgiving

Macy was with me when I got diagnosed, she was with me when I moved home and became bed bound, and she's been with me during every peak & valley since. You see, that life altering moment when I met eyes with her in 2007 I had no idea how much I would need her. I had no idea then the hardships life would throw at me, and the source of strength she would become. I believe that she is a little guardian angel God brought into my life at the exact right time. I know it might sound dramatic to say, but she saved my life. This disease has thrown me into the pits of depression; into times when I had no will to live. But Macy's silent love, her snuggles, her cold nose on my cheek and her deep brown eyes kept me going. She put a piece of joy into my life when I felt like the world was black. And that is something which I am eternally grateful for.

Left: The best snuggler. Right: Guarding my I.V

Macy is half of my whole heart. And as I celebrate her 10th birthday today, I am overcome with gratefulness. I thank God each day that He put this ball of fur into my life. As I reflect over the memories and life changes we've been through over the last decade (wowza), I'm reminded that any moment can be another "life changing" moment. I don't even want to imagine my life had I not made that trip to "look" at some puppies. Because that day altered my life in the best way possible. On that day in September 2007 I no longer had to go through life alone and afraid. I gained a partner in crime and a best friend who would protect me, guide me, and love me unconditionally.

Happy 10th Birthday to my little dumpling. I love you more than words can express.

xoxo,
Christina

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