When I first moved home and took a look in the mirror I saw a ragged, exhausted, zombie version of the person I was. I was pale, I was very thin & I finally had to admit to myself that I looked sick. As I paged through older pictures of me from a year ago it was like seeing night & day. At first that realization was hard for me. I would walk around even out in my neighborhood in sunglasses & huge sweaters to cover up as much as possible.
I was dead set on not seeing anyone. I avoided any visits from anyone for months. At that point I could have hid in seclusion forever. It took me 3 months to let my parents take a picture of me during my moms birthday celebrations. And even then it was with the terms that I had on tons of makeup & an outfit that covered me up enough. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.
At the end of March my friend Autumn came to visit & it really changed my whole outlook. I was expecting the reaction to be "boy, you look sick." But it wasn't anything of the sort. She was completely supportive and treated me like a normal human being which i was so grateful for. I worried it would be all about how sick i was, but instead I could just take a few hours out of my overwhelming day & catch up with a close friend without feeling self conscious. I decided that day I would stop hiding from the world.
It certainly wasn't an easy change, but I became more comfortable with myself, with pictures being taken, with seeing visitors etc. I finally had the courage to share photos of myself with social media & not care what anyone thought. Feeling pretty doesn't come from everyone telling you that you are, it comes from you believing you are. If someone has something negative to say about it then so be it, it's really not something I concern myself with. This is who I am right now, take it or leave it.
I urge anyone, especially those with a chronic illness to remember your self worth. The people who love you will accept you for who you are without judgement, even when you look like you haven't slept in 3 days with IV's everywhere. Don't hide from the world because I can tell you from experience it's a lonely way to live. I've been there, I've felt that, and it's safe to say I'm not going back. I plan to be a lot more confident in my own skin and I urge you to do the same too.
xoxo,
Christina
I was dead set on not seeing anyone. I avoided any visits from anyone for months. At that point I could have hid in seclusion forever. It took me 3 months to let my parents take a picture of me during my moms birthday celebrations. And even then it was with the terms that I had on tons of makeup & an outfit that covered me up enough. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.
At the end of March my friend Autumn came to visit & it really changed my whole outlook. I was expecting the reaction to be "boy, you look sick." But it wasn't anything of the sort. She was completely supportive and treated me like a normal human being which i was so grateful for. I worried it would be all about how sick i was, but instead I could just take a few hours out of my overwhelming day & catch up with a close friend without feeling self conscious. I decided that day I would stop hiding from the world.
It certainly wasn't an easy change, but I became more comfortable with myself, with pictures being taken, with seeing visitors etc. I finally had the courage to share photos of myself with social media & not care what anyone thought. Feeling pretty doesn't come from everyone telling you that you are, it comes from you believing you are. If someone has something negative to say about it then so be it, it's really not something I concern myself with. This is who I am right now, take it or leave it.
I urge anyone, especially those with a chronic illness to remember your self worth. The people who love you will accept you for who you are without judgement, even when you look like you haven't slept in 3 days with IV's everywhere. Don't hide from the world because I can tell you from experience it's a lonely way to live. I've been there, I've felt that, and it's safe to say I'm not going back. I plan to be a lot more confident in my own skin and I urge you to do the same too.
xoxo,
Christina
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