I write a lot. I write when I feel; I write when I need to be able to feel. Words soothe me in a way that makes me feel understood, even if it's just to myself in the quiet darkness of the 2am night. I wrote this during a particularly difficult time not too long ago, and the words still strike me in a way that feels significant. I wanted to share. Perhaps it will be just what someone else out there needs.
Sadness can rob the world of color. It makes everything gray. The sky doesn't look quite so blue, and the stars don't twinkle much the same anymore. The air in the room feels heavier; like the invisible weight of all my worries are trickling through each breath. I breathe in the sorrow surrounding me, and it's almost as if it comes to life. This numbness feels familiar, like an old friend embracing me tightly until I'm stuck in its shackles. Ever so slowly the sadness spreads its reach and holds my heart hostage; weaving it's hooks through everything that used to bring me joy. Bit by bit melancholy becomes a part of every day life, and I look around to find I don't know exactly who I am anymore.
Amidst all the sadness which has attached itself to my soul, I push through it to reach a small glowing ball of what I call Hope. This Hope is small, but mighty. Although it's just a tiny flickering light, it shines through all the darkness and pain. This light breaks through the shadows of doubt, the weight on my shoulders, and the voice in my head telling me to give up. You see, Hope doesn't need to always be seen to be felt. That warmth in my heart, that tingle in my chest... It lets me know I'm alive. It let's me know that it won't let me go under. Like a lifeguard in treacherous waves, Hope saves me when I can't see a way out. It provides a buoy to float on just long enough to pick myself up and start feeling again.
Some days Hope might feel like it's in short supply, and almost obsolete. But it's there. All that matters is in that moment it's still there lighting it's flame in the darkness. Each flicker, no matter how small, signals to "keep going," "keep fighting." It tells you, "I will see you through. I will light your path through this long tunnel, just follow me. Stay with me. Don't give up on me now. We're almost there."
xoxo,
Christina
Amidst all the sadness which has attached itself to my soul, I push through it to reach a small glowing ball of what I call Hope. This Hope is small, but mighty. Although it's just a tiny flickering light, it shines through all the darkness and pain. This light breaks through the shadows of doubt, the weight on my shoulders, and the voice in my head telling me to give up. You see, Hope doesn't need to always be seen to be felt. That warmth in my heart, that tingle in my chest... It lets me know I'm alive. It let's me know that it won't let me go under. Like a lifeguard in treacherous waves, Hope saves me when I can't see a way out. It provides a buoy to float on just long enough to pick myself up and start feeling again.
Some days Hope might feel like it's in short supply, and almost obsolete. But it's there. All that matters is in that moment it's still there lighting it's flame in the darkness. Each flicker, no matter how small, signals to "keep going," "keep fighting." It tells you, "I will see you through. I will light your path through this long tunnel, just follow me. Stay with me. Don't give up on me now. We're almost there."
xoxo,
Christina
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