A Lyme Disease Blog Sharing Support & Awareness

2019 Lady of Lyme Giveaway - IT'S BACK!

4/24/2019

IT’S BACK! The Lady of Lyme Giveaway is coming back again for 2019! This year there will be 5 weeks of Giveaways, with a new Giveaway launching every Wednesday of the month, beginning on May 1st. Each of the prizes are items that came highly requested from those of you in the chronic illness community and they include PEMF, Far Infrared, EMF home protection & more! PLUS on a few surprise days during May I will be dropping Amazon gift card codes to be used by anyone on a first come first serve basis. Last year I did daily Giveaways which I loved, but it was a lot of work (perhaps a bit much to take on), so I decided to meet my goals halfway with weekly Giveaways of some larger items instead :)

This Giveaway will be running on ALL my social media platforms. That means that for each Giveaway item you can enter via Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. You can choose to enter only on one platform or on all platforms, it’s completely up to you! Winners will be chosen at random at the end of the Giveaway period. For one Giveaway you will have the ability to enter here on my blog without the need for any social media, so keep an eye out for that! I recommend signing up on for post alerts on the right hand side of my website (or at the bottom on mobile) to stay up to date with everything that's to come.

There are so many events & gala's in the chronic illness community, but many patients can't attend because of financial constraints or physical constraints such as being bed bound. I had this dream to create a virtual event that included everyone no matter what. This Giveaway is all inclusive, it doesn't cost anything, and you can participate no matter what kind of financial or physical state you might be in. Come one, come all!

I am SO excited about this Giveaway. It’s my way of acknowledging that I see ALL of you, and I hear your struggles. I don’t just have this platform to share my story, but also to give back in any way I can to all of you fellow warriors.

xoxo,
Christina

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One Day You'll Look Back

4/2/2019

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One day you will look back
when you're so far beyond
far from this place that
you're in today
far beyond what words can ever
possibly say
and you'll barely remember the
intensity of this pain
and you'll barely recognize
this bedridden soul
and you'll barely care about
how far you had to go
to get to this place
of freedom.
-H.J Anderson

If you stand still and look around at your current chaos it can cloud your ability to notice the improvements (big or small) that have been made. It's easy to be swept up in the daily pain and struggle to the point of not being able to see the forest for the trees. It's often not until you step back and assess your situation clearly that you might realize some symptoms are gone or less intrusive. For me it took looking back a few years to really see the stark contrast, and that's because healing is not linear; It's a rocky road where old sets of problems get replaced by new sets of problems and that cycle continues ad nauseam. The trick is to look back far enough until you realize that a once persistent symptom might not be there anymore, or perhaps you have more better nights sleep per month than you did prior, etc. They can even be less noticeable victories, like tolerating showers a tiny bit better, or being less sensitive to a supplement you used to only take micro-doses of. Each of these are pieces which should never be overlooked because they are victories in their own right. These are the building blocks of healing. Even if you are still in the thick of it with other symptoms I urge you to cling to the things that are better, and use them as a reminder that your current struggles will fade too. One day you will look back on this exact moment and you won't believe how far you've come. I believe it for me, and I believe it for anyone who is reading this post right now.

It is not lost on me how far I've come. Even when I get frustrated in the here & now I am reminded of where I began and the dark days I never thought I would come out of. I remember being so weak that my mom gave me sponge baths in bed and washed my hair for me in the sink. I remember the agonizing liver and pancreas pain that left me in a ball unable to eat or move and barely breathe. I remember vividly stepping on the scale and looking in the mirror with tears in my eyes because I was skin and bones. My body was so weak, so wore down, and everything I tried to eat caused excruciating pain. I lived on homemade shakes until I developed food allergies to even my shakes, and then I was left with nothing. And oh do I remember the fear and worry that even if I did get hospitalized and needed a feeding tube that there wasn't a formula on the market that I could tolerate due to all my food allergies. So I thought about how this might be it; this might be the end of the road where my body just can't recover and I was beyond help. All of this and more still haunts me because I lived in it for months and years until my spirit was so wore down that I was ready to give up. I didn't think I had the strength for another day, let alone another minute.

But now, as I stand here with my current bag of struggles, I thank God that he didn't let me give up. I thank God that he gave me the fuel to hang on, and that he gave the knowledge to my parents and Doctors to light my way when I couldn't do it for myself. This blog is my place to speak about my health and share everything I have learned along the way. It's also a way to connect and give back to everyone who gave me hope and kept me going as I waded through the darkness. I am still healing, and I'm still working to fix the broken parts of my body and put them back together. But while I share my health struggles on this blog, I don't share much about my personal life due to it being separate (and not the purpose of my blog), and due to me being incredibly private by nature. And it's strange because many of my biggest victories have been in my personal life, and maybe that's because I've reached a place where I'm able to co-exist with my struggles and live a semblance of a life in the mean time. In prior periods of my life I was too sick and wore out to move from my bed for weeks at a time. I'm much more mobile as a whole now, and I'm more nourished and nutritionally stable which allowed me to put on weight and gain strength. I will do a whole post soon with a health update that will include a lot more info, but for this post I just wanted to share that compared to the paragraph above I am leaps and bounds better, even on my bad days. I still face hurdles, flares, and struggles, but my soul is thriving and I have found joy in so many places of my life that I never imagined I would. So please, do not give up. It does get better, it WILL get better.

I have stated this many times before, but I won't give up working to heal until I am 100%. I won't settle for a mediocre version of life and call it a day. I will fight tooth and nail for every single semblance of independence, health, and vitality. I am not there yet, but I am sure as heck a lot closer than I ever was. I will keep this blog updated until the very end; until I take my last pill and can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am healed. Until then I will bring you along on the journey of filling in each missing piece of the puzzle that will make me whole again.

xoxo,
Christina

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You Can't Hold Onto A Moment Forever

2/1/2019

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I'm lying in bed and I glance over at my dog who is sleeping next to me, curled up like a little cinnamon roll with the sweetest look of on contentment her face. I want to take this moment and capture it to have forever, so I pick up my phone to take a photo. But as I look through my view finder I realize that no matter how I change the angle, and no matter how I shift the brightness, what I see on the screen doesn't look anything like what I see in real life with my eyes. I keep playing around with different angles, but it never looks as life-like and real as what I am seeing. The essence isn't there, no matter how hard I try. 30 photos later I eventually give up, and set my phone down.

Thats when I glance out the window and I happen to see a beautiful sunset. This time I grab my fancy DSLR camera and I head over to the window. I begin to play with all of my settings, shifting the f/stop, the contrast, the ISO; but again, I can't seem to capture what I'm seeing in real life. Sure, the photo looks beautiful, but not nearly as breathtaking as the view I have in front of me. If I were to show someone this photo they wouldn't feel what I feel in this moment. It's impossible to replicate the big open sky with the pinks, reds, and oranges dancing together in swirls as far as the eye can see.

Maybe that's just a parallel to the reality of life. When you try to re-tell a story to someone it never packs the same punch as the first time you lived it. No matter how much detail you try to put it in, and no matter how many words you use to try and paint a full picture, it will never be exactly the same as the original experience. And that's because the current moment you are living in, you can never get it back. You might take a picture to remind you, and your memory might be there to try and re-play some aspects; but you can't hold onto it, you can't grasp onto it, and you can't feel it the way you felt it when you're physically there.

There is much to be said about living in the moment. It sounds cliche and it sounds cheesy, but it's true. You only get one chance to live a moment, and after that it's gone. So often in this world we are distracted; we're distracted by the news, we're distracted by our phones, we're distracted by a worry that a week from now will mean nothing. And later we will think to ourselves, "what a silly thing to have been so consumed with that I wasn't savoring the time with the people around me."

I think back even to my high-school/teenage years. And I think back to what my biggest worries were, or things that I had arguments with my parents over. I think about the things that I was upset about, the fights I had with my friends, or the worries I would stew over. And I laugh about them now; I laugh about them because they are so insignificant in hindsight. Yet I also look at how much of my precious time they took up, and how much anxiety, stress and unneeded worry they created. And most importantly I look at how many missed moments they took because I wasn't able to be present.

All of these things; all of these worries, all of the depressing news stories, and all of these non-issues.. they feel so big in the moment. They feels so consuming that nothing else can co-exist with it. Joy doesn't feel like it's welcome in the room when all of these worries are there. But at the same time, in this fast paced world, when does it ever stop? If you don't sit down and carve out time to detach from it you will just be pulled into the next cycle and the next cycle until you find yourself full of anxiety and low on real joyful memories. Because there will always be a worry that feels bigger then you, there will always be heartbreaking news, famine, wars, people fighting. It will always exist. In this world when you turn on the tv or pick up your phone the worry is everywhere. It's in your face, on your feeds, and consuming your mind.

I think back to family vacations when I was a little girl, before cell phones existed and before TV's were in every room. Back in those days if you wanted the news you had to buy a newspaper, so when you were on vacation you got essentially no news and didn't talk to any friends. Those might have been the last pure occasions when I was truly present in a moment. I remember buying disposable cameras to take photos on, and buying souvenirs to remind me of all the memories I made. I wasn't taking photos with the thought of "I wonder how this will look on social media," and I wasn't buying souveniers to fit any kind of image. My life was carefree, my joy was genuine, and I was 100% present in each moment. I remember those times vividly, and I miss it often.

And just like I can't capture that perfect sunset in a photo, I will never be able to fully feel how I did in those moments long ago. The memories help, but it's not the same. So this is a reminder that you have to live now, while you can.

If you take what I just said about worry and you swap that word out for anything - symptoms, struggles, heartbreak - then you'll see that it can be all consuming. And it's often so consuming that it takes away from your current moment. Trust me I know, because there are times when I have no choice but to research and read about my ailments for hours on end to help myself. There are times when I am in a flare and struggling so much that all I can do is read about remedies or things I can try to ease the pain. Other times I have pill alarms and reminders barking at me, or I am stressed that I forgot to take a med on time. But, the tricky part of this is that yes there are moments where I must focus on these worries, and then there are other moments when I don't need to but I still do. Because I get stuck in default worry mode, and if I don't manually turn it off it will run on a loop for eternity. I will worry about things long after they are out of my hands, or I will fret about something I can't change. Sometimes even after I've read everything I can read on a health topic I will still re-read some articles for fear that I missed a piece of useful info.

And so what I've been trying to do is carve out time for when I really do need to focus on the so called worries around me. I devote time to researching what I need and allowing myself to feel what I need to feel; be it sadness, anger or grief. And then when I don't have to, during times when it isn't absolutely necessary to be stuck in that mode, I forcefully put myself in a state where I am present. It's a time where I put my phone down and just enjoy the world around me. And if that means sitting in my bed and doing a puzzle while I listen to a podcast then I want to be fully present in every aspect of it. If that means baking and chatting with my mom, then I want to savor every sight, sound, smell & feeling. Because these are all moments I will never get back, and I don't want to only be halfway present while my mind is miles away worrying about something I can't change or fix. My whole life could go by like that and I would look back and wonder where it went. That thought scares me. I want to treasure my life and the people around me more, even if this world is moving more towards getting us to spend endless time on our phones. I won't buy into that, because it only brings anxiety in its' wake.

You cannot get moments back. Just like you can't recreate a sunset in a photo, you can't ever go back in time and live it again. This is your one chance, your one shot to savor the people and beauty around you. Even if you are ill (especially if you are ill), each day can feel so consuming and difficult to get through. So if you don't stop to be present for the good, no matter how small, then so much of your life will pass in sorrow. And one day I promise you will look back and think, "wow, I could have enjoyed this person in my life more had I not been so distracted and consumed, where did the time go?" It will break your heart all the more in retrospect.

Be here, now.

xoxo,
Christina

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2018 Chronic Illness Gift Guide - Holiday Gift Ideas

11/19/2018

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Tis the season to be stumped by what to get your friends & family, while frantically trying to come up with good ideas. Does this sound like you? If so, have no fear! I have my new Christmas gift guide ready for 2018 (see 2015 here & 2017 here), and it's chalk full of ideas to get loved ones, or to request for yourself. Perhaps you have a loved one fighting a chronic illness but you don't know what they might need, and if so you are in the right place! All of these gifts are tailored to be unique & useful gifts for those with chronic illnesses, and most are gifts that people often don't think to buy for themselves.

Each year I am working to improve my Gift Guide to make it more user friendly. Below you will find my main Gift Guide, and below that you will see some clickable galleries for $25 and under gifts & $10 and under gifts. I hope you enjoy!

The Clapper Handsfree Light Switch ($18) - Ohh the convenience of clap on/off lights, they make like much easier for those who are drained of energy. In fact you can use this outlet to plug in just about anything, and it operates by the sound of claps. Your TV, lights, fan, etc can all be operated by this & it's a gift that your recipient likely wouldn't think to get themselves. It makes an awesome gift for pretty much anyone, and the price point is also very affordable.

Roku Express Streaming Stick ($29) - Each year streaming sticks get better and better. This Roku Express sticks only needs WiFi, plugs into any TV and boom you're ready to stream 500,000+ movies & TV episodes. This little guy is so easy to take anywhere & is great to have on hand for hospital admissions, out of town Doctor's appointments (can plug into hotel TV's), or when going to visit family. It makes a great gift because absolutely any TV can become a Smart TV with Netflix, Hulu, CW, Youtube & more right at your fingertips. One of the most fun things that Roku offers is an App Store that lets you download games which you can play with a group. Family feud family game night? Check!

Smart Thermostat ($135) - This is a bit pricier, but it's also the ultimate in convenience. I can tell you first hand that sometimes I will be burning up and within 15 minutes I am freezing cold. This isn't uncommon with chronic illness (temperature disregulation), and getting up each time to change the thermostat is a chore. in fact, sometimes it's also physically impossible to get to. For those who have mobility aids (walkers, wheelchairs), it's even more tasking. Having a Wi-Fi thermostat which lets you control it from your smart phone (or Alexa/Google Home), is a game changer. Trust me, the recipient in your life will be extremely grateful. This same concept comes in more expensive options (The Nest), and cheaper options (Thinp), but I like this mid-range priced option.

EMF-Free Ionic Toothbrush System ($22) - I found out about this toothbrush from a friend so I decided to give it a try, and WOW. I had an electric toothbrush for the last 5 years, but I never turned it on. The reason being it was way too intense for my liking. The vibration felt like it was vibrating in my skull, and I hated that. I kept it because the interchangeable brush heads appealed to me, and it felt a little more sturdy than your typical toothbrush. But, I knew I wasn't getting the full plaque busting potential from it. This is where the Ionic Toothbrush comes into play. And what is an Ionic Toothbrush you might ask? Well, it's a toothbrush that uses ions to attract plaque from your teeth, thus giving you an insanely clean feeling. It doesn't vibrate but rather it emits ions which get activated through the bristles when they get wet. It's EMF-Free, silent, has interchangeable brush heads & makes teeth feel squeaky clean. Seriously, my teeth have never felt more clean in my life (except maybe after a professional cleaning). It makes your teeth actually repel plaque & removes up to 48% more plaque than just brushing alone. I can attest to it's greatness, and it makes a great gift for anyone avoiding EMF's while wanting a bright shiny smile. I personally use this toothbrush with the "Heal Thy Mouth" cleaning system from Ora Wellness, which is an all natural tooth powder & oil combo that rebuilds enamel & heals swollen gums.

Dodow Sleep Aid Device ($59) - Oh insomnia, it's such a constant in the lives of so many. You can be tired all day, but as soon as night comes around sleep seems to elude you. The Dodow sleep aid is rather new on the market and has rave reviews all across the board. It's a simple little device that helps you fall asleep by beaming a soothing blue light on your ceiling which pulses. It gives you something to focus on so your brain doesn't wander and you begin to breathe along to the pulse. This slow breathing puts your body into a parasympathetic tone by activating your baroreflex stimulation. The baroflex is triggered by baroreceptors on your aorta & carted arteries, and when you slow down your breathing to the optimal 6 breaths per minute you stimulate it which in turn relaxes you. The device has an 8 and 20 minute session, and automatically turns off when it's finished. Studies have shown that breathing on your own isn't sufficient because the brain naturally starts to wander and becomes distracted. The pulsing blue light gives your brain the needed stimulation to watch and you'll be lulled to sleep in no time! If you know someone struggling with insomnia, or someone who just needs to take some time to relax, then this is the perfect gift!

Portable Puzzleboard & Jigsaw Puzzle ($29+) - Being stuck in bed with a chronic illness is the pits. Sometimes you're stuck there because of pain, sometimes its fatigue, sometimes it's because standing is too difficult, and often its a combination of all of these things. The one thing everyone craves during those times is a distraction. It's why games, movies, etc are so crucial, because otherwise you'll go crazy from the pain. Jigsaw puzzles make an incredible distraction because they stimulate the brain, but most people don't think to do them because they involve a table top. A moveable puzzle board solves all of those problems in one. You can use it to work on a jigsaw puzzle in bed, then move it to a table when you want. You can take it back and forth depending on how you feel on any given day, and it folds up to hold all of your pieces securely. It's also a gift which most people wouldn't think to get themselves, and might not even know exists. Gifting them with a Portable Puzzleboard & a Christmas-themed Jigsaw Puzzle makes a lovely and festive gift.

Programmable Coffee/Tea Maker ($89) - Is there anything better than waking up to a pot of coffee or tea already waiting on you? The correct answer is no, there is nothing sweeter. This programmable coffee maker does it all. You can brew a whole carafe or cup, and it works with ground coffee/loose tea or a K-cup. And best of all you can set a timer before bed and wake up to warm coffee or tea which stays warm as long as you need it. This is the kind of luxury that you never knew you needed in your life until someone gets it for you and then you can't decide how you ever lived without it. Getting out of bed is tough with a chronic illness, whether you have somewhere to be or not. The comfort of a warm tea waiting on you (especially if the smell wafts into your room), is the ticket to the start of a great day. I used to rig the system by placing a candle warmer by my bed, and my lovely parents brought me a tea which I kept warm until I got up. I can confirm that while that worked well it's also possible to make your tea way wayyyy to strong if you oversleep. A machine which does the perfect brewing for you and simply keeps it warm is 10/10 the very best choice.

Etsy Gift Card ($25+) - While this might seem random, hear me out. Etsy is not only an amazing place to buy crafts, homemade gifts & decor, it turns out it's also an amazing place to find bakers and bakeries. My current diet is gluten free & vegan, and I'm always on the hunt for bakeries who are willing to work with me on some substitutions for my allergies. Etsy is perfect for that, because the sellers are almost always willing to work with you to tweak their ingredients to your needs, and are very easily to reach via a quick message. There are a TON of Gluten free & Vegan treats, as well as specialty bakers who make Paleo, AIP, and Keto desserts. There's something for everyone! I have found countless bakeries on Etsy, including some who made Fudge, Vegan Rice Krispy treats, and more recently I found a donut shop that had the most delightful mini donuts. Trust me, if you know someone who is on a limited diet with allergies they are probably also too sick and too tired to bake for themselves, so this will make an amazing gift.

Trendy Medical ID Bracelet ($25+) - I am a huge advocate of everyone with a chronic illness owning a Medical ID Bracelet. Do you have medicine reactions, allergies, or a condition which is vital for an EMT or Doctor to know in an Emergency? If so, having a Medical ID can quite literally save your life when you can't speak for yourself. However, I also understand that most Medical ID's on the market are not cute, and so people don't want to wear them. I went to school for fashion, I am very understanding of how unappealing tacky jewelry is. But have no fear, there is a solution! My favorite Medical ID company is Lauren's Hope because they are a family created business with an in house jeweler who designs the most stunning pieces. They are gorgeous while still showing the Medical ID tag which EMT's and Physicians can spot. These ID's have vital information on it such as any medical reactions, conditions, and who to call in an Emergency. These bracelets (or necklaces) are available for Men, Women, and Kids & are so well made. I own 2 bracelets as well as a purse tassel myself, and have my eye on a few more. These make a great gift for anyone who likely wouldn't spend the money to buy it for themselves but could benefit from the safety of owning one.

Instant Pot ($79) - If you've heard the hooplah over Instant Pot's and you're wondering if it lives up the hype, I am here to give you a resounding yes. If you're new to Instant Pot's then let me sum it up by saying it's easily the best kitchen appliance ever created. In essence it is a pressure cooker, but in reality its much more than that. You dump your ingredients into this magical pot, close the lid, turn it on to cook and then rest/nap/hang out until it finishes and your meal is ready to go. It is not like a crock pot, because an Instant Pot uses pressure to cook and therefore speeds cooking times up tenfold. For example you can cook an entire pot of pasta in 4 minutes. FOUR. Chicken? 7-8 mins. Not to mention the flavor you get from the pressure cooking will make you think you marinated the chicken for hours beforehand. Another bonus? All the smell stays in one place, so if you are sensitive to cooking smells taking over the house (like I am), then it keeps all the smell inside this pot. The real highlight though is just how easy it is to make food with it, and what a life saver it is for low energy. I myself have easily made honey garlic chicken and felt like such a chef. It took me at most 10 mins of prep and made enough for leftovers. There are thousands of recipes on Pinterest for Instant Pot ideas, and even a few cookbooks on the market as well. This is a gift that would improve the life of someone who doesn't always have the energy to cook, and it will revolutionize their kitchen.

Weighted Blanket ($90-$200 ) - By now you're probably tired of reading this list, so I am going to keep this one short and sweet. Weighted Blankets are blankets which have a weight to them (10-20lbs), and work by applying deep pressure to the body which releases serotonin and other neurotransmitters that promote a sense of relaxation. Weighted Blankets are used for children with ADHD by calming their sympathetic nervous system down, and thus calming down their overstimulation. It is also used to help anxiety, insomnia, and more. I can't possibly recommend my blanket more highly, it has greatly improved my life. I will say that these blankets do come in various price points and if you are wondering what the difference is between the cheaper vs pricier varieties, it typically comes down to a few factors. The pricier ones use Organic Cotton and other materials which are softer, are personally hand stitched, have higher quality beads and better weight distribution. The price also varies depending on which weight you choose (15lbs is the most common). With that being said, any Weighted Blanket is worlds better than no blanket for someone who is suffering with symptoms.

$25 And Under

$10 And Under

xoxo,
Christina

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The Forgotten

11/15/2018

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The holidays are lovely, but they can also be incredibly difficult for many people. And I don’t just mean the people we commonly think of & hold gift drives for such as those in the hospital, the seniors, or low income families. I’m talking about those who are often forgotten in the mix, the people who are spending their Christmas or Hanukkah in the psych ward/mental facility.

This was brought to my attention last year, and honestly before that moment it never occurred to me that there were people in psych wards during the holidays feeling utterly alone. It was so obvious yet it never crossed my mind. Then I started thinking about how terrible it would feel to be alone during the holidays in a place where you are forgotten because the stigma of mental illness is so pervasive. People often think to send cards to the children’s ward, the ICU, and other parts of the hospital, but those who are in the mental hospital get skipped right over.

When I called my local center to inquire about what gifts they allow, the HR director couldn’t grasp what I was asking. He was befuddled by the idea of someone bringing gifts for the patients and laughed it off. He didn’t treat my request seriously and he wasn’t grateful in the slightest when the gifts were delivered. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t want or need gratitude, but when the HR director treated it like a joke (questioning why I would do such a thing) it spoke volumes about what he and many others think about people who find themselves in such a center. As if these people are less than, or undeserving. As if they don’t matter.

What many people don’t realize is that mental illness isn’t a choice. The people in these facilities often had terrible things happen in their lives which led them to where they are. So why are they often forgotten? Stigma. And while I couldn't personally change that fact there was one thing I knew I could do, and that was to make sure they weren’t forgotten.

In the end I wrapped up about 20 packages (the number of patients there), with a small gift & a card reminding them they are loved and not forgotten. But truthfully, even a simple card would have worked, because this wasn’t about a dollar amount but rather a gesture.

If you are reading this & you feel called to reach out to your local facility, please know that anything you do will make a huge impact. You don’t need oodles of money to make a difference. Whether it’s a handmade card, a pair of socks, a crossword puzzle book, a deck of cards, or a fuzzy pen, it will make their Christmas or Hanukkah special. Most wards have quite a small resident count, but if it’s larger you might want to enlist the help of a friend to tackle it together.

My tips are:

Call the facility beforehand to ask what is or isn’t allowed (if you want to include a gift).
Ask the facility approximately how many patients they have and then call a few days before delivery to get a more solid head count. This way no one gets left out.
Include uplifting language in your cards, but don’t treat them differently. These people are just like you or I and they don’t want pity. Keep it positive & uplifting!

I also want to say that I commend and cherish all the holiday initiatives which provide love to people in need during the holidays. My family & I participate in other endeavors with our local women’s shelter, the elderly & making cards for children in hospital. They ALL matter, and they all make an impact. The purpose of this post is to highlight those who might otherwise be forgotten, because I had overlooked them myself for so many years.

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” - John 15:12

Xoxo,
Christina

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What Keeps You Going?

10/3/2018

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There have been many times (usually in an email or during an interview) when I am asked where I find my strength and positivity to keep going. But when I’m asked that question I almost always hesitate at first, because while I know my answer I’m afraid it will come across as cheesy or contrite. It’s also difficult to sum it up in just one quick little answer, because to me it’s bigger than just a few words. So I thought I would take this time now to answer in depth and from my heart.

I know the hip thing now-a-days is to give an answer like, “well the Universe just guides me,” or to credit meditation and positive energy. And while yeah meditation is soothing, it’s not going to save me in the darkest moments. I’m talking about moments where the pain is so consuming, and the light at the end of the tunnel looks dim. It’s those moments where the thought of a life not spent in pain feels implausible. It’s the months of depression that rip away every ounce of joy I had for things I loved before. In those moments I can only be sustained by my faith in God, and knowing that He is in control. Because even when I can’t see a bigger picture for my life, He can. And even when I don’t know which way to turn next, He does. Now I know at this point a handful of you reading this are asking some variety of question like, “if your God is so good, why does he let you suffer?” That’s a valid question, and I’d love to give my perspective on this issue.

There have been many moments in my life where I was very upset that something I really wanted did not pan out. Big plans went haywire, and I was mad at God for not giving me something I thought would improve my life. And by not getting what I wanted I suffered a lot, and a lot of difficult things happened. It’s not easy to cope when you think you’re making strides, only to get horribly thrown off course. I cried a lot and said “why God why?” only to see months (sometimes years) later that my unanswered prayer was a gigantic blessing in disguise. I’ve had times where the bullet I dodged by not getting what I wanted, (and seemingly “suffering” because of it) was leaps and bounds better, because I would have suffered immensely more if I got my way. I’m talking life-altering consequences. In the moment when I asked for it I couldn’t possibly see the big picture, but He could. And I’m telling you now, when you have that “aha” moment where you finally see the boulder you missed, it will shake you to your core. And it will make you grateful that you are not the one in control or wielding all the power.

On the flip side, I’ve been able to look back 6 years and see a small yet pivotal moment which put the ball in motion for an event which would change my life for the better. And to further make my point about how I’ve seen God work in my life I’m going to share a story. This story is a bit lengthy, but it really illustrates the kind of long unfolding plans God has for us that we can’t always see from our small bubble. The story will be in a different font for those of you who want to skip to it, but trust me if you’ve made it this far it’s worth the read.

After I got accepted into college at the University of Louisville I had to attend a weekend summer orientation. When I called to schedule my weekend I was told I called just in time because they barely had any spots left for the dates I was requesting, but luckily I had just got in. Fast forward to orientation and I arrive at the college, sign in, and get a key to my dorm room for the night. When I go to put my stuff down in the room I see that my roommate had been there before me because all of her things were already on the bed. I look at her luggage, taking note of how cute it was, and walk out to join everyone in the quad for a day of lectures and tours.

My major at the time was Undecided so I got grouped with the other stragglers who didn’t quite know which path they wanted to take in life. I didn’t know anyone in my group and I’m shy by nature so it was really quite intimidating because I’m someone who is very quiet and reserved around people I don’t know. Anyway, I attended a few mandatory lectures and then we are given the opportunity to choose which other smaller presentations we wanted to go to. I chose one on Greek life, and me and the fellow Undecided’s went together to a little lecture hall for the presentation. There was limited seating so I found one of the last spots towards the back of the room and did what I always do which is keep my head down and sit silently. However, the girl next to me had different plans because she started talking to me and complimenting me on my shoes. I nervously said “thank you,” assuming that would be the end of the convo, but she was very outgoing and the kind of person I felt instantly drawn to. We ended up talking during most of the presentation about our shared love of fashion and became fast friends who did everything together for the rest of the day. I was elated to have met a friend and someone I connected with so quickly.

When the time came for us to go up to our rooms for the night imagine my shock when I found out SHE was my dorm roommate! Out of at least 2,000+ other students I could have been paired with, it was her. Now at this point I thought okay this must be fate, but I wasn’t quite sure how. After the weekend was over we exchanged numbers and had promised to keep in touch over the summer, but as most teenagers do we both got busy saying goodbye to our high-school friends & that fell by the wayside. In fact I had actually lost her number when I got a new cell phone. So imagine my surprise when come Freshman move in day she reached out to me! After that the rest was history; we became instant best friends and stayed best friends all throughout college and beyond, even living together a few times here & there. What’s important to note here is that through her I met one of my other close college friends whom I would also go on to live with (she’s important).

Many of you know that college is a chaotic and trying time on its own, but it was also the time when I first started to become sick. It came on slowly in a way which was manageable at first and only became unmanageable as the years passed. However, by the grace of God I made it through college and then got the bright idea to move all the way to California to further my education. This was the time when my house of cards crumbled and I got much too sick to take on a full time class load, internship & caring for myself alone. At this point I had to move back to Louisville and begin to take my health more seriously. I decided that I would split my time working & traveling to see Doctors while attempting to take online classes. The only trouble was I couldn’t find a job anywhere. No one would hire me for part time work because I was “over qualified.” I spent months looking for a job and going to interviews, but many seemingly great prospects fell through which left me incredibly frustrated.

Stay with me here, I’m almost to the finish line! That’s when the close friend who I met through my dorm-room BFF said her old job had an opening and that she would recommend me for it. Because of her I got the job (yay) working with children who have special needs. During my job training I was required to take a visual acuity test in order to get trained on the program so I could administer it to the children. It was during this visual acuity test that I had a pivotal moment, because I actually failed the test horribly. My boss at the time was really concerned and told me that healthy adults absolutely shouldn’t be failing such an exam. With her urging I took the results straight to my mom who found a Neuro-Opthamologist who not only discovered my brain damage but also referred me to the Doctor who ultimately diagnosed me with Lyme Disease.

For those of you who skipped through that novel, I’ll summarize. Had I never met my dorm-room BFF on that fateful day, I never would have met my other close friend who got me the job which saved my life. There are A LOT more twist and turns in this story which make it even crazier, but for brevity I stuck with the important points. You see, at the time I was diagnosed in 2011 I was running on fumes. I had quit school altogether, I could barely drag myself out of bed to make it to work by noon, and I was withering away from barely eating. I was at a breaking point, and after 5 long years of getting nowhere with Doctors who couldn’t find the source of my pain I finally had an answer. I live in Kentucky, and when I was diagnosed I had never heard the words “Lyme Disease” in my life. Not one Doctor up until then was even close to figuring it out, and if you only knew how deeply weak and sick I was when I finally got diagnosed you’d understand why it came at such a pivotal moment. And without those chain of events happening I know without a shadow of a doubt I would have collapsed in bed a few months later and had no idea why, with no plan for relief. I can’t look at that story and NOT think “whoa, I have an awesome God.” He knew I needed an answer, and He set the ball in motion years prior to make sure it would happen.

So yeah, I guess you could say I’ve seen God work in my life in such deep ways that I trust Him. I trust that he has my best interest at heart, and I understand that He isn’t some kind of magical genie. God isn’t someone who is to bow to all my mortal wishes and give me everything I ask for. That’s not how it works. In this thing called life we navigate it day by day the best we can, and having a God who I can trust with my whole heart to guide me towards His light is something that grounds me each and every moment.

See the thing is, I’m only human. I have free will and I make my own day-to-day choices. And sometimes those choices are harmful, or would lead me down a destructive path, and God has saved me on multiple occasions by putting up roadblocks. Other times he has set me on a path which was long and seemingly random, but had a much deeper meaning for my life. I pray each and every day for God to guide me, and to intervene if I’m veering off course. I trust His will even if it isn’t my own wish or will for my life. I trust His plan, because I know my plan is flawed.

So there you have it. That’s why I am so deeply rooted in my faith, and it’s why it requires more than just a cheesy one-sentence answer. My strength comes from knowing I don’t always need to be strong, because God can be strong for me. It’s knowing that I don’t always need to be in control, because He is. And it’s recognizing that the power is not within me, but it’s grounded in Him. If you aren’t firmly planted in something which will hold you through the trials and the dark times then surely you will lose your grip. I don’t always discuss my faith in length on this blog because to me it’s private & it’s difficult to articulate. But I hope to live my life in a way that spreads so much love that its undeniable that Christ is within me. And when others look at me & see my heart, I hope that they see someone with a bright light that loves others unconditionally. And that’s all due to my fortress, which is Jesus.

Simply put, I don’t lose my grip because I’m being held up by something much MUCH larger than me.

Xoxo,
Christina

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The Fragility of Life

9/4/2018

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There is a fragility to life that you become acutely aware of when you dive into the chronic illness community. It's that constant reminder that life is precious, and it's to be cherished even in the most trying of times. Our society is so built on waiting for things to be perfect before we can be happy or our lives can start. But what if we could meet life right where we are and choose to be grateful for it anyway? When you see how fleeting life can be and how hard fought each breath is, it reminds you to stop living in the sorrow of what pains you and rather in the light of being present.

I believe Jordan Peterson stated it so eloquently when he said,
"In order to stay alive it's necessary to get the balance between death and life right. Because death keeps you alive. Your cells die and regenerate all the time. And if they die too much, then you die. And if they don't die enough well then you also die, because you end up with cancer or something like that. You have to get the balance between death and life just right in order to survive."

To appreciate the juggling act that the human body must do to keep you upright and functioning is to understand that the breath you are taking right now is hard fought. Every breath we take is at it's core the one thing which connects us all, no matter our background, race, or religion. It's the one thing everyone on this earth can be grateful for, no matter what circumstances lie ahead. Because to breathe is to be alive. And to be alive is to have a say in this world; it's to change this world forever by leaving an imprint all your own.

Hands down one of the most taxing parts of being a part of the chronic illness community is learning that friends you've made along the way lost the battle to their illness. There are always two feelings which pierce my soul in that moment: grief and sadness that they didn't make it out on the other side, and an extreme sense of gratefulness that I am still here. Why am I here and they aren't? Why did God spare me and not them? I don't know. I will never know until I can ask Him myself one day. But until then, it serves as a shock to my core that wakes me up from any pity party I might be having for myself.

"Wake up Christina, your life is right in front of you. Cherish it. Grasp it."

Yes I always tell people to feel how they need to feel, and to never compare their struggles to others because trials and tribulations hurt for everyone. But the one thing we can all agree upon is that we are here, we are alive. And there are those who fought like hell through their illness who are not. And to be given the blessing to fight another day, another hour, another moment is in and of itself a gift. So even if you feel like you are in a moment where there is absolutely nothing that you feel grateful for, simply take your hand and place it over your heart. Do you feel that? It's your heart beating and your chest expanding to breathe another breath.

I want to share a story from someone who inspires me; not for her courage to have lived in the face of adversity, but for her persistence to thrive despite it. Claire Wineland recently lost her battle to CF after a failed lung transplant, but I will never forget something she said during an Instagram Live Q&A about a week before her surgery. She was on the wait list for new lungs, and although she was very ill she was looking for a new apartment and planning for her future (often over taxing herself in the process). When asked why she didn't just wait to do all of those things after she got her transplant and could live again, she responded very eloquently by saying that she doesn't want to resent her life; she wants to cherish it and live it on her terms while she is still here to do so. Perhaps that sentiment feels much larger now in her passing, but it serves as a sharp reminder of the fleeting nature of life. If we wait to be well or to have ideal circumstances to be grateful and see the beauty around us, we may life a live of only grief.

Claire was a bright light who lived a thousand lifetimes in the time most of us live just one. She squeezed the goodness out of every moment, and if you didn't see her oxygen tank you would have never known she was even ill because she spoke of life with such a joyful poignance that it will stay with me forever.

"Life is not just about being happy. It's not about how you feel second to second. It's about what you're making of your life and whether you can find a deep pride in who you are and what you've given."

xoxo,
Christina

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Crohns & C.Diff & Pericarditis, Oh My! (Health Update Post)

8/20/2018

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If you chuckled at the title of this post then you get a gold star! Oh how I love the Wizard of Oz, I couldn't resist a little play on words! And also, whoa am I long overdo for an update post. I know I won't be able to include everything because as most of you know there are usually about 100 things going on at once. But, I'm going to just focus on the most recent and most asked about topics now. In many ways I am improving, so it's not all doom and gloom. Sometimes these update posts can seen a little more of a downer, but honestly I feel with each little hiccup I learn something new to add to my arsenal and ultimately move me towards the final goal of complete healing.

I'm going to break this post down into sections by topic, mostly because it's a lot of info that isn't all that cohesive, and also because some people might only be interested in one aspect or another.

Crohns
Last year I wrote my post about learning that I had developed Crohn's disease, and I said that I would update this blog as I learn ways to manage it etc. Well, truthfully that took a whole lot longer than I expected and I still don't have a perfect grip on it. I had to learn my Crohn's triggers which were way different than just a food intolerance (which can be easier for me to identify). I noticed right off the bat that dairy was a hard no, and although I can get away with some cheese sometimes it has to be very low in whey and lactose (such as cheddar). A heavy cheese like mozzarella is a huge no-no, as is milk or butter. With each trigger I removed it was like a weight was lifted off of me and I was one step closer to taking the damaging inflammation down a notch. For many Crohn's patients fixing their diet is enough to put them into remission. This isn't always the case of course, but for a large swath of patients it does a lot of good so I couldn't ignore it. I finally also learned that yeast was a huge trigger, and actually it was probably the biggest. Many years ago I cut out yeast on the anti-inflammatory diet and I was yeast free for at least 3-4 years. But then I added it back on occasion for things like cinnamon rolls, croissants & other bready foods which require it. It went fine and dandy for a long while, but I didn't realize what a large trigger it was for Crohn's until I did some research. I learned about something called ASCA. What's that you ask? Well..

From Lab Tests Online: The test for anti-Saccharomyces cerevisiae antibodies (ASCA) is used to help distinguish between Crohn disease (CD) and ulcerative colitis (UC), the two most common types of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). Testing usually includes detecting two different classes of ASCA in the blood, IgG and IgA.

I had actually had this test ran as a part of my Crohn's testing and my antibodies were very high. This means that I have a lot of antibodies created against Saccharomyces Cerevisiae, which just so happens to be the same yeast that makes bread rise. When I eat yeasted food those antibodies attack, and the level of inflammation and damage in my colon grows exponentially. It wasn't until I cut out yeast cold turkey that I felt a huge difference and realized what a large trigger it is for me. That alone was a really big key that believe it or not took way longer to realize than you'd imagine. Some other triggers common with Crohn's that also applied to me are small seeds and nuts, as well as FODMAP's like onions and garlic. None of these came up on any kind of food intolerance testing, because they don't create an IgG or IgA mediated response, but rather it irritates the Crohn's disease itself and sets off a flare. So it took a whole lot of trial and error and food charting to get a grasp at what was keeping the disease so activated. Once I slowly learned and eliminated the worst offenders I got a semblance of my sanity back. At the time I was diagnosed with Crohn's I was eating about 4-5 foods safely and that's it. I lived on liquid shakes and was in agonizing stomach pain around the clock. I'd say diet was my first big step in the positive direction, and I would also say it took me a good 8-10 months to fully understand all of my triggers.

In terms of having Crohn's in remission that hasn't happened yet, although I have had stretches where things calmed down a great deal. It fluctuates between feeling better/healing or having something trigger it like stress or eating a food I'm not ready for (more on that later) and going into a flare. Treatment wise I have tried a lot, and none of it was traditional steroids due to having Lyme disease and it being too risky. I will do a separate post on this but the most success I've seen has been with immunotherapy, which has been a real God-send in helping my overreacting immune system to calm down. Crohn's is autoimmune in nature and it caused me to have so many severe food intolerances and sensitivities that almost everything hurt to eat. These were your standard food intolerances where when I ate something my body didn't like (which was almost everything), my mast cells freaked out and released a ton of histamine into my body. Immunotherapy is what allowed me to go from eating 4-5 foods to having the wider ranging diet I have now. While I haven't tackled my Crohn's triggers like dairy, yeast or eggs, I have tackled many food intolerances and have been able to broaden what I can eat which has been a huge blessing. Immunotherapy is a very slow process, but I hope to keep seeing benefits. I've had to stop and take breaks from it a few times along the way due to unforeseen circumstances (many which I discuss below), so it's taking me longer than expected. But any step in the right direction is important to me. I will make a whole list of non-pharmaceutical items which have helped my Crohn's because I have tried a lot of things and quite a few have been amazingly useful. So if that area interests you, whether you have Crohn's or just struggle with tummy troubles then keep an eye out for that post soon!

PT & OT
Being bed-bound does so much damage to the joints & muscles, and I didn't realize that until I noticed how many parts of my body hurt when I did every day regular movements. Doing something as simple as sliding my right foot forwards and backwards made my knee pop and cause searing pain. Stretching to scratch my back would make my whole back seize up and lock up. Many people think that when you feel a little better you just go back to every day life and boom all your muscles come back and everything is fine. That however is not the case. Many of the small muscles you don't even think about can atrophy from being unused and won't build up properly unless you help it along. An example I give is if you have ever been skiing think about how sore you were the next day. Skiing uses muscle groups you don't really make use of in day-to-day life and in order to become a skier you need specialized training and practice to strengthen those up. The same goes for me. So many of my muscle groups have atrophied and just walking around won't fix it. However, doing the wrong exercises and just jumping back in with the wrong work-out can create irreparable damage too. You need to know which muscles have atrophied in a way that it pulled other bones or ligaments out of proper alignment and that has to be fixed first. My entire body is out of alignment from years spent curled up in a ball with my heating pad from abdominal pain. My hips, my knees, my spine, you name it! Doing PT and OT has been very slow and steady, and I don't have anything big to report just yet, but I've only been doing it since May with a brief hiatus in July (more on that below). The purpose of PT and OT isn't to get buff, it's to heal and strengthen the weak areas of my body damaged by atrophy that is causing me daily pain. I'll see more results as the months pass by and I'll keep this updated!

C Difficile
C-Difficile has become my biggest nemesis, and the fact that most standard sanitizers in the healthcare industry don't kill the spores is something that still makes me mad. (What is C-Diff?) Being immune compromised like I am means having to take incredibly careful precautions to make sure everything around me is sterile. I am a clean freak through and through. However I can only control that on my end, and I don't have any control of what other people do or don't do. This mostly applies to people in the healthcare industry because they clean their devices such as thermometers and blood pressure cuffs with alcohol based wipes which do not kill C-Diff spores. I appreciate that they kill things like the flu virus, but all it takes is one tiny c-diff spore to infect someone. When you have a low immune system you know it is inevitable to pick up illnesses when you mingle with those from the outside world. I am super duper cautious, often going above and beyond, but situations out of my control led me to pick up C- Difficile yet again. I say 'yet again' because this is my 4th rodeo with it since my first bought in 2013. The first time I had it I wrestled with eliminating it for over 6 months but then I stayed clear for a long while. I then had one in 2015, and one in 2016 into early 2017. I was clear for over a year until low and behold I picked it up again very recently. It took me a pretty long time to realize it was c-diff and not just a Crohn's flare up (2 weeks to be exact). During that time it did a lot of damage to my already damaged mucous membranes, and it's really dangerous to have on top of Crohn's, so this has been a real adventure to say the least! C Diff is notorious for being difficult to kill, and because of how much it weighs down my immune system I couldn't do my immunotherapy at the same time. My treatment protocol to completely eradicate the C Diff is a 2 month treatment + a follow up 10-20 week pulsing to make sure that no spores comes back. I have faith that if I am diligent I can heal all the damage it caused in my colon. I also want to do a post on everything you need for C.Diff including cleaners you must use that kills the spores etc. So many post ideas, so little time!

Pericarditis
The last of the recent life updates is another rather bizarre situation I had in July. It came on rather suddenly one night then I awoke to feeling like I couldn't catch my breath. I am used to having air hunger, which is a sensation of not being able to breathe but when you check your blood oxygen saturation it's A-ok. This trick helps me know its just a sensation and while it's uncomfortable I know it isn't life threatening. However, this time when I checked my oxygen levels they were down to 93 (normal is 98/99). I also felt like I couldn't get air in or out properly and I had a weight on my chest. Eventually I got back to sleep and had hoped it was just a weird fluke, but as the days passed it only got worse. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest, my chest hurt, breathing was difficult, and I got out of breath chewing my food or trying to speak. My oxygen levels dropped to 89 and I felt both terrified and miserable. At this point we knew it wasn't just some "weird Lyme thing" and this was actually something which needed attention asap. First things were ruled out like a PE or anemia, and when those came back clear I had other further testing with X-ray, echocardiograms, EKG and Spirometry. Let me tell you, I do not miss endless testing and worrying! But I did get an answer to what was plaguing me and it was Pericarditis. Pericarditis is an inflammation of the sac around the heart, most often caused by a viral infection. And while I had an answer there wasn't anything else I could do but take anti-inflammatory meds and wait it out with rest and plenty of hydration. The virus tends to run its course in 2-3 weeks, which isn't too long, but when you are living it then it can feel like an eternity. Things like eating or speaking were painful and difficult. I had to get help with showers and afterwards it took me hours to recover because with the low oxygen levels all the blood would leave my arms and legs upon exertion and go numb. I would lay flat after minimal walking and feel my arms and legs be ice cold, tingle, and be numb while I was also very faint. It was the strangest feeling, and it kept me in a state of panic almost constantly. It really wasn't until about 2.5 weeks in that I felt the first signs of the fog lifting. From there it was a more steady improvement and by the 1 month mark I felt back to normal.

Pericarditis is not really a common thing to pick up, so it was a strange experience and it reminded me to be grateful for my immune system. Since I had the C-Diff I had an even lower than usual immune system, and that left me open to further infections despite my precautions. This experience reminded me that while my immune system is usually a bit more fragile, I would definitely take that over the situation I had with C-diff and Pericarditis at the same time. When I had 2 infections at once pulling my body down it was unsettling to know that I had very little natural defenses left to protect me. That was a scary feeling, and it reminded me that my normal, slightly subpar immune system isn't so bad after all! It's all about perspective.

And that puts us at now. I am diligently taking my meds for C Diff and hopefully after that I will be able to ease back into the immunotherapy to help repair some damage left behind in my colon from this infection. I'll try to do more update posts so it isn't all so jam packed next time, but this was just meant to be a quick update of new things which I haven't had a chance to discuss or share yet. So while it wasn't all encompassing I hope it was useful to those of you who so kindly follow along!

xoxo,
Christina

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The Night Is Quiet

7/9/2018

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The night is quiet. It’s quiet in a way that brings peace to some, and weariness to others. There’s something about being awake while the whole world is asleep that amplifies the feeling of loneliness. It’s almost as if all the collective souls in rest create a shift in the atmosphere... it’s quiet, but suddenly I am starkly aware that I’m left alone with my thoughts in the darkness. And right on cue my mind begins to race, now free of the all the daytime distractions which safely kept me from overthinking. With nightfall every piece of worry and grief I have tucked away comes rushing out, flooding my thoughts and drowning my mind.

Somehow everything stings a little sharper, hurts a little deeper, and feels a little bigger after nightfall. Old wounds become rediscovered, and a highlight reel of anxiety plays on a loop at max volume. I try to find the pause button and search desperately for mute, but there’s simply no peace under the moonlight.

4am knows all my secrets, and it knows all my pain. It’s a strange camaraderie, built on the foundation of sharing so much between the silence. We both know the drill, and we know that our time together is short yet melancholy. I patiently await the first rays of sunlight, the first chirp of the birds outside my window, and that soothing feeling that people are awake in my world again.

I’ve always been told that when a new dawn breaks, last nights problems won’t feel quite so large. And it’s always held true. By the morning all my thoughts declutter, and my fears scurry away to the part of my mind which waits to be accessed at night fall. It’s the most dependable part of my day; creeping in like clockwork at midnight & leaving dust in its wake at dawn.

But perhaps the greatest irony of my life is that while I reckon with the challenges of the night, I am also very taken by all the celestial bodies in the sky. I have always looked up at the stars & instantly felt small, yet special. Their brilliance reminds me of how large this universe is, and yet I’m still a unique being created and loved by a God who made it all. When I photograph the Milky Way it never stops being enchanting to every ounce of my soul. The night sky is where my childlike wonderment is revived, but it’s juxtaposed by the weariness it brings once my head hits the pillow.

I suppose the night will always be my friend & foe. But for now I recognize my worthy opponent & work towards a truce.

xoxo,
Christina

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One Small Act of Kindness Can Change The World

6/18/2018

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I have always believed that one small act of kindness can create a ripple affect & change the world. It often feels like it's just one small drop in the bucket, but all those little drops come together and overflow.

A few years ago I did a Random Act of Kindness project where each month I found someone in need and curated a surprise care package for them with the help of a family member or friend. They never found out it was me, unless the family member I worked with told them, but I preferred to stay anonymous. I did this for 12 months & it was a really incredible experience. I followed it up with Random Acts of Kindness - Part 2 the following year and took on two more recipients. I know how isolating it is to be sick with a chronic illness, and my heart is always hurting for those who are alone and struggling as well.

Then, as many of you know I had the big May Giveaway & that included $11,000+ of healthcare items that many of you received! It was an incredible experience, but I still want to do more.

So this year I wanted to try and rally this community of amazing warriors & see if we can help one family in need. If we can change the life of this one family struggling with Lyme Disease as a collective effort, how incredible would that be? And before you close out of this post, please hear me out. My goal is raise $1,000 and that means that even just donating $1 or $5 will collectively add up, and if you hear what this will go towards then I believe you will understand what a HUGE impact it will make.

I want to help a wonderful fellow warrior named Phoebe. I met Phoebe via the connections I made during the Giveaway, and we began to chat about our various stories and experiences with Lyme etc. I learned that she is a Mother to two amazing children who are sadly also ill (just like Phoebe is) with Lyme disease. She is divorced and has sadly had to put most of her money into a continuous legal battle on that end, and on top of that she lost her home to mold and had to leave every single bit of their possessions behind. She lost it all, and her children lost it all too. They are now sharing a small room in a relative's home as Phoebe tries to afford treatment for her children amidst rebuilding her life and fighting for custody.

Now Phoebe is not someone to outright ask for help from others. She tried for a very long time to get assistance from various Lyme grants for treatment for her children. Unfortunately, organizations like LymeLight Foundation require certain test results for them to give out Grants (as is the case with other orgs), and Phoebe does not have the funds to pay for these tests. I was the one who approached her and asked if she would allow me to try and help. If she could just get the 2 DNA Connextions tests ($500 each) for her 2 children then she could get the set up with LymeLight Foundation & that is her biggest goal. She never once asked for anything for herself, it was always about her children first and how she can get them the treatment that they need ASAP.

Phoebe created a GoFundMe about a month ago when someone else offered to help her and asked that she create one. However, when it got made that person backed out and it just sat there collecting internet dust. I asked her if she would be willing to have faith in me that through this amazing community of readers we might be able to rally together to help her. $1,000 is all she needs to get her children into treatment and help give them a chance at a healthy life. I KNOW that if everyone who reads this donates even $1 that we can achieve that. The GoFundMe is set at $5000 because the person who asked her to create it set that budget, but Phoebe is specifically asking for $1,000 (just to clarify). Please donate any amount you can, and further PLEASE share this. Share this post in groups, share it on social media, text it to friends, email it to family, etc. Whatever you can do on that end will help immensely.

You can read the full story about Phoebe HERE on her GoFundMe page, and if you want to speak to her personally please email me at cskova01@ladyoflyme.com and I will gladly put you in touch.

Read Phoebe's Story Here

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I will send a personal note & small token of my appreciation to each and every person who donates, as a thank you for rallying with me.

For every $1 Donation I will send you a handwritten note
For every $15 or more Donation I will send you a handmade mini canvas artwork. NOT made with any paint, but rather metal elements (no glue, VOC's or fumes of any kind)

If you make a donation on either tier I will see on the GoFundMe, but in order for me to have your address you will need to email it to me. So once you're done with making the donation just email me at cskova01@ladyoflyme.com and I will get your item out to you! I know that we can change the lives of these kids for the better, and Lyme Disease does NOT need to ruin their whole life. Together we can stop this, and we can made a difference.

Thank you,
Christina

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