I will never forget a conversation my mom had with a friend of ours about this topic. It was December 12th and we were discussing how ready we were for 2013 to be over. I distinctly remember her saying, "there are only 2 weeks or so left of this year, lets just hope nothing else bad happens in that short time."
It was a comment I took in stride, thinking there is no way this year could get any worst. The next night my grandmother who lives with us fell very ill & after a long battle passed away on December 27th.
Yes, 2013 COULD indeed get worst and deliver its final punch faster than I could blink. When I sat down & watched the countdown on New Year's Eve I was so anxious to put last year far far behind me. Those of you following along on this blog know many of the personal struggles that have ensued. It's been a true test of God's grace to give me the strength to cope without completely falling apart.
All in all I'm ready for a fresh start, and I believe in God's love and the fact that things will be much better. These last 2 weeks I have felt pretty bad, in comparison to how I was feeling before. However January 1st was an absolutely marvelous health day. Full on appetite, more energy than I have had in weeks, and high spirits. I think God was trying to give me hope, and say "yes Christina, this will be better, here is your fresh start."
For 2014 I strive to fight harder than I ever have before. My sweet grandmother was a fighter through & through. She battled breast cancer twice & won, and ultimately lost the fight to liver cancer. Although she was very very sick for weeks before she passed she never showed it. She refused to tell us how she really felt because she did not want my mom to take her attention away from me and my health needs. What a selfless & amazing woman she is. She silently suffered every day, slowly deteriorating but you wouldn't ever know. Not a peep. By the time she landed in the hospital things were just too far gone to save her, and that says a lot about her character. Any one of us would be doubled over in pain crying with what she was dealing with. And she did it for me, so that I could get the support & stay focused on recovery. She loved me that much, and it makes me emotional every time I wrap my mind around it.
So for her I will fight like I've never fought before. I will beat this for her, because that's all she ever wanted is to see me healthy again. 2014 is for you grandma, thank you for being such a perfect example of strength & courage.